Paper size: 22"x30"
I"m finally getting around to doing the portrait of Brian and I that I've been planning on doing for the past 3 years. I've never really found a photo of us two that captures what I wanted until recently. I worked on this for a few hours this afternoon. This is just the initial sketch, but I thought I'd show you what I've accomplished today.
Click on picture for a large version
My 3rd interview with Countrywide was a bust. Once I saw the name of the person I was to have the interview with, I got worried. I had met this woman last year regarding a different position. She immediately told me back then that I wasn't qualified and wouldn't enjoy the position. I was told over and over how I lacked certain experience. Even though it was evident that I wasn't going to get the job, she continued to interview, no interrogate me for the next hour. Friday's interview was no different.
She immediately told me that I wasn't qualified and that I lacked certain skills. Someone taking over that position would have to be able to take over the job on day one without training, which is something I never heard of before. She told me that I wouldn't enjoy working in the field, especially with 25% travel. This went on and on for the next 40 minutes. Again, it was like an interrogation rather then an interview.
I'm trying to keep my head up despite all of this. It's obvious that working for this woman wouldn't be a good idea even if she DID offer me a job. I don't mean to just sit here and whine, but I was doing fine this past couple weeks up until now. As of yesterday, it's been a full month. I've only received one call back from all the jobs and friends I've sent out my resume to. I've been told my work experience is impressive, yet no one seems to be hiring or need someone with my skill set. Everyones words of encouragement are wonderful and appreciated. I find myself responding with a glazed look over my face and just nod my head. Right now, the only other prospect is my old company, prior to my most recent one. They're in talks of trying to bring me back for a new position they're creating. I'm not one to focus attention on one thing and putting all my eggs in one basket. I'll keep looking, but the thoughts of going back to the company I loved for so long sounds wonderful.
I've dealt with small amounts of depression before. Nothing more then the average person experiences. This is something completely different. If it weren't for friends to drag my ass out of the house, I would probably never leave it. I'm scared to spend money in fear of what I have running out. Not being able to go and do what you want without having to analyize it first is driving me crazy. I know financially we're going to be fine, the hubby and I. He makes enough to support us along with the unemployment money.
I just never realized how much a job defines us as human beings. Giving us a sense of worth, well being and security.
I feel like Linus who just had his blankie stolen.
I'll try not to sit here and whine on future post. I just had to vent and get this shit out of my head. A kind of self swift kick in the ass I guess.
It's bad when you have two people who can't make up their minds, trying to figure out what to do all weekend. Lately, I've had one of those 'whatever' attitudes about where I go, what I do, where I eat. Mix this with someone like Steven who for the life of him, can't make a decision either and you end up having two people sitting around having conversations like this:
What do you want to do?
I don't know. What do YOU want to do?
Not sure. We'll do whatever you want to do.
But I don't know what I want to do, so what do YOU want to do?
***long pause***
So what do you want to do?
I don't know what do you want to do?
This conversation can go on for days it seems. Then one of us makes a decision.
How about we go do *insert random activity*?
Naw, not really in the mood to do that. How about *insert random activity*?
Not really in the mood for that either.
***long pause***
So what do you want to do?
This weekend should be interesting. I'm sure we'll end up finding something to do, but it will be a pain in the ass trying to get to that point.
Having a husbear nicknamed Julie The Cruise Direictor I guess can come in quite handy during times like this.
The job search continues. I hate to bore you with details, but nothing else really has been happening in my life other then that. How many times can you hear about me sleeping in late and hanging out by the pool?
I've had 2 interviews with a company for an AVP of Compliance position of the South Division. She contacted the recruiter immediately after our interview and scheduled a 3rd interview on Friday with someone else in the company. I've also been contacted by another company through email stating that they are having a recruiter look at my qualifications. I got this contact through an old work friend. She sent my resume' to her HR department. It's all about networking. Monster is worthless. Career Builder is a waste of time. Yahoo Hot Jobs is pretty much the same.
It's all about who you know and the contacts you have.
When I'm not online searching for jobs. I'm chatting with friends, surfing the internet and boring Max to tears. He loved it when Brian was here. He has his 24 hour playmate. He's become quite vocal lately. He will lay his head on your leg and wag his tail. Within a few seconds, he starts this coo'ing, gurgling, growling thing that will go one forever it seems. We'll hold long conversations with one another.
Shit. I'm now having conversations with my dog. Spending all this time alone, by myself with only the dog is driving me insane. Thank goodness for Steven and other friends whom I can hang out with at night otherwise I might become one of those crazy old Cat people who have 27 cats running around the house.
Brian's calling me daily telling me about his adventures in Portland. He's enjoying spending time with his half brother and his partner. So much in fact, that he asked me if he could stay the weekend to attend their daughters birthday party and spend more time with them. Being the loving and caring person that I am, I told him to go ahead.
I'm a saint I tell you.
In other unemployed news, I finished the last Harry Potter book. I cried. I laughed. I screamed out loud. I'm such a nerd.
Now if I could only get hooked on the soap opera Guiding Light again like I did for 15 years when I was growing up.
The first day that I've been alone in a very long time. I can't remember if I've mentioned this, but Brian took a position with another company and he started today. This company had been calling him for over 8 months. They never seemed in a hurry to make a decision and Brian wasn't looking for a job. During the past few months, they pushed harder for him to join their team and once everything was as he wanted it, he said yes. I wish I had people knocking down my door. He doesn't even have to search for jobs himself. They seek him out.
He's working for another consulting firm called ACS. His first project that he started today is in Portland Oregon. He flew out this morning. He's so excited. New company, new people, new city and his gay half brother lives there with his partner. He hasn't had the chance to see him in ages so it will be nice for the both of them to reconnect.
It was odd having him leave this morning and quite sad. We've been together 24/7 for the past 3 weeks. Something we've never been able to do. The house seems so quiet except for a talkitive dog who farts a lot. The group of us spent all weekend together going to an exhibit at the Ft Worth Modern Art Museum, ate dinner, had a movie night, cooked for friends, went and saw Hairspray and even relaxed by the pool at Steven's parents house. We gave Brian a nice send off.
I decided I'm going to use today for myself. Relax, watch Oprah, paint, read the new Harry Potter. I told myself I wasn't going to stress the day he left.
I just have to stay away from any shows that talk about Tammy Faye passing away. For some reason cry everytime I read about her. I got to meet her when she was in our Pride Parade a number of years ago and got a hug and a big "I love you!" from her. She was quite the woman.
Delicate Boy has tagged me for a meme. I haven't had to do one of these things in ages.
THE RULES
We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight (I might just choose four) people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. I took piano lessons from friends, cousins and a few professionals from the age of 3 years old until I was 25. At the age of 13, I was good enough at playing by ear, that I became our church's pianist and played for Sunday morning, evening and Wednesday night services until I left my hometown to go to Gradschool. We bought a piano a year ago finally and I continue to play. Since Mama and Brian were both raised Baptist and I was raised Pentecostal, we like to sit around when drunk and sing/play old hymns. Now if we could only get Steven to join in. He was raised Church of Christ, although they only sing in their churchs acapella.
2. I originally signed up as an Accounting major along with an Art major as an undergrad. My 2nd semester, I was asked to take a glassblowing class. One hour after I blew glass for the first time, I went and dropped my accounting major with my parents blessing. They didn't want a son that was an accountant. I blew glass every day of my life from 1984 until 1994. I eventually needed full time work and insurance. I haven't blown glass since.
3. I strongly believe that I've seen/experienced Angels three times in my life. If you search Angel on this site, you'll find the three posts.
4. I can't eat any sort of meat that has a bone in it. It reminds me too much that I'm eating an animal and the more I think about it, the more it will make me sick to my stomach. I have to eat all meat boneless. Unless I've smoked a little somethingsomething (which hardly ever happens), then I'll eat anything put in front of my face.
5. I didn't come out until I was 25 years old. I dated and had sex with girls up until that point. I was at a party in gradschool with an ex girlfriend the night I got hit on by this beautiful man. I went home with him and he showed me The Power of the Penis. I never went back. Well, except for the one 3 way I had with my best friend and his girlfriend back in gradschool. Don't judge me.
6. I sniff all my food and anything I drink before I consume it. I can't help it. It's something that must be done or I will not eat or drink it. I'm so subtle about it, most can't tell that I've done it in front of them.
7. My Mom had a miscarriage before I was born. They were finished having children. She became pregnant with me at the age of 38. My father told me during a drunken stupor when I was 25 years old (he only drank once a year) that I was only here because the rubber broke and that I should always be careful when having sex. My name was to be Sally Jo of I was born a girl.
8. No male on my Dad's side of the family has ever lived past the age of 65. My dad died not long after he turned 64 from prostate cancer and heart problems. Both my brothers have had heart problems. I've had a lump already removed off of my prostate and I have high tryglicerides and cholesterol and bloodpressure. Yippeee.
I'll only tag four of my close blogger buddies so they can't hate me forever for tagging them:
I may not always agree with his tactics and not completely care for him as a person, but I think that everyone should go see Michael Moore's SiCKO.
For anyone who's dealt with any sort of healthcare issues in the past and wants to see how the rest of the world seems to have a handle on it except us, go see this movie.
Bring a box of tissues as well.
Saturday morning, we headed to The Ranch for what we thought was going to be a busy, crowded weekend. Our friend Matt, along with Brad and his friend Matt, were going to meet us down there. Matt #1 ended up canceling and Brad and Matt ended up, well I have no idea why they didn't show up. It ended up being just Brian and I for the first time ever. We've always had someone with us when we're at The Ranch.
We spent the weekend working around the campsite, cleaning and organizing and relaxing. One thing I can say about being out of work is that I'm going to start whatever job I get, really really tan.
The only scary part was when we arrived Saturday morning. We noticed that the surrounding area had gotten a lot of rain the night before. Not much of a surprise considering we've had 60 days of pounding rain almost in a row in North Texas. They got so much in fact, houses and many roads were completely flooded. Once we arrived half way down the small access road to the ranch, we came upon a washed out road that crosses a small bridge. I got out of the car and walked through the rushing water to see how deep it was. Once it reached below my knee and I had trouble standing (I know, not a smart move), I headed back to the car and told Brian it wasn't possible to pass. Luckily, a mail carrier came up behind us and told us an alternative route, which ended up being completely passable. It wasn't until I got back in the car did I realize I was probably standing in rushing water that contained tons of snakes.
I hope pee stains can come out of a car seat.
We waited until this morning to come back. The ranch was deserted and we were the only people there. Kind of strange to say the least, but quite pleasant and quiet.
I hope everyones weekend was a nice.
Brian almost got me into trouble yesterday. We frequently get called and asked to take part in these research survey's. If you fit the criteria, you can sit in on these 8-10 people panel and give your opinion on various topics, many relating to advertising of certain products or services. They usually pay you about 200-300 to just sit there for two hours and talk. We both got called for one recently. The woman who called knows Brian really well. She was dead set on getting us both to be a part of this latest survey, whether or not we 100% met the criteria.
Before you know it I'm telling them I'm an IT Manager with over 500 employees and I make major corporate decisions regarding telecommunications. I probably make a shitload of money too. Come to think of it, I was employeed last night for 2 hours. In theory.
Did I mention that this survey paid 300 bucks? Normally, you can bullshit your way through these things without any problem. Most of the time, they want your opinion on directions for marketing and advertising. I could tell right off the bat, that this wasn't going to be the case. He first off asked us what our job title specifically was (they normally don't do that), what our daily functions were (again they normally don't do that) and what sort of challenges we deal with on a daily basis as a CIO, CEO or VP or Manager of an IT department. Holy shit, I'm fucked.
Let's just say that I had very little to say and frequently said that I agreed with the previous person's assessment. I think I have a sore neck from all the headnodding. All the men were dressed in their work clothes, I came in wearing jeans and flip flops. I had trouble answering every single question with the authority that I knew what I was talking about. They're talking about voice over protocol, fiber optic interet protocol, communication connection NODS (whatever the fuck that is) and so on. The entire time I just wanted to reach over the table and strangle my hubby.
Luckily, before I know it, time is up and we're told we were finished. I felt guilty taking their check, but didn't feel too guilty depositing it.
Tonight, we have tickets to see Beyonce'. Again, it's tickets provided to us by Steven. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but we decided that the show would probably be incredible so why not go. Tomorrow, we head down to The Ranch to get away for a few days.
Other then that, I'm taking the advice of many of you readers and of a good friend of mine. He and I hadn't been in touch for over a year. He called me out of the blue a couple days ago and gave me additional advice on just taking some time off from all the worry and just enjoy myself before concentrating heavily on finding a job. It was so great to hear from him and we're hoping to grab a bite of dinner next week.
So don't mind me while I go and enjoy and afternoon at the pool. That's after I sit at the coffee shop and enjoy reading my book and doodling in a sketch pad before enjoying a concert tonight and heading out to the lake for the weekend.
Being off work, doesn't provide me with much blogging fodder. Not unless you want to read about how I got up late, went to Starbucks, job searched online, ate lunch, lounged by the pool, went to see a movie, job searched, ate dinner, watched TV and finally went to bed. Add about 2 or 3 quick naps throughout the day and there you have it.
Exciting huh?
I did go on a job interview with a consulting firm yesterday. I submitted my resume' online and within 5 minutes, I receive a phone call from them wanting me to come in. Of course, I get all excited and my hopes up. Come to find out, they're more of a technology based company and I'm not what they need, but they own 5 other staffing and consulting firms that I would probably be more of a match. Hopefully one of them will call me this week.
The beat goes on.
We all had a great weekend seeing Transformers and Ratatouille at the theater. I felt so dirty. After seeing Transformers, we were standing outside the bathrooms chatting and the guys noticed that Ratatouille was playing in 20 minutes. We stood there daring each other to walk into another theater and see another movie. I just knew we were going to get caught, but we didn't. I'm always the rule follower and a good boy. Brian and Steven are bad influences on me.
We spent the rest of the weekend watching more movies, eating out and just plain taking it easy. I think Brian and I are still recovering from our trip. We even got to see Spamalot here in Dallas on Saturday night. Brian and I have seen it, but we wanted to see it again and take Mama and Steven. They loved it! Sunday we ended up going to the Door for the beer bust and ended up meeting some great guys who we would love to see again. One of the guys grew up 20 minutes from where I did, back in Nebraska.
Today, I sit here going over my unemployment package, searching the web and sending off resume's. I've sent my resume to many friends and trying to network as much as possible. I still feel overwhelmed. Despite how busy I'm kept, I still have this lingering cloud above me and nagging sensation that causes me to break down at the drop of a hat. It's getting better though. I know things will be ok.
It's kind of odd. I don't have that sense of dread anymore of having to go to work at a job that was horrible. I don't lay awake in the mornings wishing I didn't have to or thinking of ways I could get out of going in. My neck isn't giving me as many problems which was also causing me to have a numb left arm and hand.
Maybe I should call my Doctor. Better life through chemicals I always say.
Trying to get out of town last Monday was a bitch. We first were delayed because Brian's possible new company needed to video interview him ONE last time. This was only the 10th interview. They were supposed to schedule it at 10am, but changed it to noon instead. That delayed us 2 hours. On the way out of town, we were told we had a flat tire. It took two hours to get a new tire put on. Once we finally got on the road, we had to sit in terrible traffic due to the shitty rain we've been having. We got on the road at 4pm and arrived in the French Quarter around 11:30pm. It only took us 20 minutes to drop off our stuff and head to Lafitte's in Exile for a few drinks.
We were up early Tuesday morning and ate breakfast at the famous Clover Grill on Bourbon Street. We walked around The Quarter for a while before heading out on our Cemetary/Voodoo walking tour of St. Louis #1. This had to be one of the most interesting and knowledge packed tours I've ever been on. Walking through The City of the Dead is a beautiful experience. I've always been fascinated with graveyards in general, mainly the history and architecture. We took so many pictures. It was difficult because the cemetary rows are very tiny and narrow. We even got to see Marie Laveau's (NOLA's notorious voodoo priestess) grave and laid our hands on the tomb to make a wish. If we get our wishes, we have to come back to New Orleans to thank her and leave a token of our appreciation. We'll see what happens.
The next tour was of one of the oldest and most restored Plantations called Oak Alley. This was the highlight of the entire trip for me. One of the most stunningly beautiful places in Louisiana. We sipped Mint Julips while we toured the grounds, slaves quarters and interior of the Plantation while an older woman in a huge hooped skirt gave a wonderful talk throughout the next hour and a half. I didn't want to leave. I could have walked around the 300 year old Oak trees for hours. I snapped so many pictures it was ridiculous.
We only had a short time once we got back before heading to Bourbon Street Pub to meet Brettcajun and his partner Michael. We enjoyed a few beers and then headed out to a great cajun seafood restaurant, then out for more barhopping. We got to see a hilarious drag show at Oz. We ended up meeting Ty Labeouf, some new up and coming porn star with Hot House. Holy hell, I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
Ty Labeouf
We ended up meeting Mama, Twyla and Terry around midnight. They were spending the week in NOLA the same time as us. We tore that town up that night. I was a bit hung over on Wednesday July 4th.
Despite it sprinkling all day, we enjoyed ourselves while we walked around The Quarter and The Riverwalk. We had lunch at Clover Grill, did a bit of shopping and ended up having coffee and beignets at Cafe Du Monde. As we sipped our coffee and at our fancy french funnel cake, a street performer got everyone to start singing, "You are my Sunshine". Being the singers that we are, we were doing it in four part harmony. A man gets up to leave afterwards and said, "Hey guys, I just heard you sing and my band and I are playing down the block here in a few minutes. I'd love to have you come sing with us." We laughed and thought he was being polite. "I'm totally serious" he responded. We took the compliment as a great thing and did not head down there to sing with him. Quit while we're ahead was our motto.
The best coffee and beignets around.
We got back to Lafitte's just in time for a contest. You wouldn't believe this, but they were having a Baton Twirling contest that afternoon. Before long, Mama and Twyla were putting on one of their shows. This bar didn't know what hit them. The contestants had to perform in the street. The minute they got out there, traffic became horrible out of nowhere. They still put on a funny show and won because they were the only contestants. I have a feeling even if others would have entered the competition, they still would have won. Who else puts on a show like this?
Later that evening, after a wonderful dinner at Grand Isle near Harrah's Casino and a spectacular fireworks display on the Riverwalk, we went back to Lafitte's for karaoke. Brian decided to sing and I finally got to film it. My baby has such a beautiful voice. It's in a crowded bar with lots of noise, but you can hear him just fine. The cd skipped at the end of his performance and the host kept getting in front of me. Could have killed her.
We never left the bar for the rest of the evening and met lots of great people and good conversations. We even got some total hot stranger to show us his dick for beads. It was quite pretty and you can see it along with all the other 350+ pictures we took.
Click here to see all photo's.
We headed home yesterday. It rained the entire way back almost. We brought the rain from Texas to Louisiana and brought it right back home again. I'm exhausted, but getting out of town was the perfect remedy for the blues.
Now reality sets in.
I wanted to thank everyone for all their kind and encouraging words. To get my mind off of things, Brian and I are heading out of town since neither one of us are working at the moment. Might as well take advantage of the time off.
Steven and I had a very relaxing weekend at The Ranch compared to our normal "tie one on" weekends. It was a very nice change. Brian had a wonderful time seeing family at his Reunion. Not one day back home and we're heading back on the road.
We're heading on a road trip to New Orleans for four days. Luckily it's only an 8 hour drive from what I remember, so we'll be in the French Quarter Monday night by 10pm. Mix some evenings out on the town with some sightseeing and it should just be what the doctor ordered.
If I don't get the chance to post anything this week, I'll be back on Friday.
Hugs to everyone.
