Ahhh.....nothing like getting home, changing clothes, then hopping in Brians new car with the windows down and sunroof thrown back. Enjoying the beautiful fall weather that has been thrown upon us. Breathing in the smell of smog. Then heading to Frys Electronics to look at DVD players and Surround Sound Systems for over two hours. After a while, all I saw was a blur of black and silver sleek boxes with pretty lights on them. Brian saying things like HDTI, DVR-R/RW, DVR+R/RW, jpeg, mpeg, blah blah fracken blah.
The things we do when we're in love.
Then the inevitable happened. My blood sugar started to plummet like it does when I don't eat. At that point all hell is capable of breaking loose and I can't be liable or responsible for any of my actions. Hey, it's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Luckily, crisis was averted.
What I should have been doing the last few days is training for tomorrows AIDS Walk. I can't run around the block without getting dizzy and feeling like I could pass out. Speed walking causes cramps in my legs after a block or two. Stairs? Forget about it. I'm so out of shape that yes, I should train for a 3.6 mile walk. I wish I could be more like Dunner who trained and competed in something called The Ironman. I guess I'll stick to my 12 ounce curls. Sex can be exercise too, right?
Tomorrow morning is the AIDS Walk. I've raised a total of $1235.00 thanks to you all out there. Couldn't have done it without you. I'll be sure to come back with pictures from the event. Some guy named Tony Dorsett is going to be there along with his wife. I'm not exactly sure who he is, but they say he played in some sport with a group called The Cowboys. That's the local pro football team, right? I told my Mother he was going to be there. I swear she was going to have to change her panties once she heard his name. Seems she's a pretty big fan. My goal that I was given, is to get a picture and autograph.
Yeah.....I'm sure this is possible.
The rest of the weekend is up for grabs. I hear there's a Corny Dog Festival in the Lakewood area.
"CORN DOG FESTIVAL The cornbread-battered hot dog gets prime billing at this celebration, which features a corn-dog styling clinic, a corn-dog boutique, a silent auction, live music, dancing, and the ever-popular corn-dog styling contest and grand finale Corn Ball. Oct 1. Call for schedule & prices."
Once I heard there was a "Decorate your dog with corndogs" contest, I'm SO there. I just want to see all these dogs with corndogs stuck all over them with their owners trying to keep the pooches from eating their costume. Priceless....
Or there's the Texas State Fair which starts this weekend. Y'all know what I'm like when the Fair is in town.
So it's a toss up. Hot Carnies, Fair Food, Carnival Rides, Car Show and the chance to make fun of Rednecks or seeing the odd places people will stick a corndog on their poor undeserving puppy and parade them in front of everyone for a prize.
No brainer....
It's scary when things go from the hottest day of the year yesterday (104 degrees) to what we have today. It's 60 outside and it's not going to get above 75 today. Last night one of the biggest thunderstorms I've seen in ages, plowed it's way through Dallas last night. For a moment there I thought Rita wasn't finished and decided to come for us just for shits and grins. Seventy mile an hour winds, constant lightening and torrential rains. The kind of storm where trees are knocked over, limbs everywhere, streets are flooded and power lines down.
Fuck, we didn't even have our power go out! *grumble*
Where in the hell is my hubby when it's time to make wild monkey lovin' during a thunderstorm? I don't think there's anything better then to have the windows open, listening to the rain, winds and sounds while boinking each other. Unfortunately, Brian was busy helping our buddy Scott move a piece of furniture. At least he was gone for a good reason. By the time he got back I wasn't much in the mood, he was stinky....and well The Mind of Mencia was on Comedy Central.
Case of bad timing.
It seems in my life, every single time a thunderboomer rolls through whatever city I'm in at the time, I'm usually alone with no one to do. Hell, no one's ever around for a gratuitous blowjob. Rubbing one off during a thunderstorm....well, just isn't the same. What am I going to do, light some candles and put on a Luther Vandross cd to make it special?
Brian, you're so getting it tonight buddy.
Every time I watch these videos from 1960-1970, I sit there in amazement. My Mother and her two sisters all lived within 20 feet of each other in a post WWII housing development. Small crackerbox styled homes. Every single one looking the same, yet different colors. Cars with two toned colors and big fins on the back. My brother in nis normal white t-shirt, stovepipe pants, white socks and black loafers. My sister with her big hair, tight knee length skirt and heels. My younger brother in his cardigan sweater, wearing his cowboy hat and guns. Mom always seemed to have her hair in curlers with a big scarf covering it up. Dad with his typical white t-shirt and black horned rimimed glasses.
Not only did they live right next door to each other, one of my Mothers sisters was married to my Dad's brother. Every single day they were hanging out at each others houses. The men hanging out by some old car they're working on. The women inside cooking, talking, dancing or playing cards. My cousins are running around in every scene. One with her cat Sebastian and the other with her dog Candy.
Incredible visions for me. I stare in wonderment at their clothes and hair, their furniture, artwork, their surroundings....wonder what life was like for them. During one of my trips down my families memory lane, I found an interesting little tidbit from 1968.
I wonder who this could be?
(Video courtesy of my hubby)
I got back to Dallas Monday afternoon from my trip to Nebraska, expecting to hear stories about the rain, the wind and the power outages. Luckily for everyone here, they didn't even get a drop of rain. I'm sure all those Homo's with their Hurricane Parties were sorely disappointed.
My trip home was the same as it has been the last ten times I've been there. Lots of eating, sleeping in, visits with family, shopping with the occasional break in routine thrown in.
I love this time of year back home. Fall is settling in the Midwest already. I leave weather that's hotter then two rats fucking in a woolsock and arrive to weather that's colder then a witches tit in a brass bra. I didn't pack accordingly and found myself wearing the same sweatshirt and jacket for 3 days in a row.
Downtown was gearing up for the annual parade. Tons of pumpkins and dried cornstalks decorated every corner. Every open parking lot was full of kids decorating floats. College was in full swing and the town was extra vibrant. The local coffee shop was packed with students while a singer strummed their guitar in the corner, singing folk songs. Halloween decorations were everywhere. The air was breezy and crisp. Most of my fondest memories of home are during the Fall.
We watched an airshow at our small little airport. Dozens of stunt flyers performing gutwrenching stunts. Listened to the symphony perform their annual "Music in the Park" at a Pavillion that was built back in 1910. We ate dinners and lunches with family. We sat around discussing everything from the hurricanes to our latest addition to the family, Nolan. Which by the way, I was forced to pick up out of his carseat while eating lunch on Sunday. By the time I got him unhooked and limbs bent in ways they shouldn't, I finally had him on my lap. My sister reaches over and wipes my forehead. I had broken out in a sweat.
Babies make me nervous.
I nursed a kitten back to health while on the farm. Mama cat was killed by coyotes which happens frequently. The other kittens were strong enough to survive, yet this little grey one was struggling. Took everything in my power not to bring him home. We watched the birth of 7 puppies. Two died during the night. They were just too small to survive. Before my arrival, the ducks gave birth to 4 ducklings. Little bastards shit all over everything and will not get out of your way when driving out of the farm. I'm sure their days are numbered.
Had an interesting conversation while having breakfast before heading off to church. Everyone was trying to figure out who my little great nephew looks like. His mama or his daddy. This lead to discussing everyone in the family. This person has their mama's eyes, but their daddy's nose. Someone else looks like their daddy, but acts like their mama. While sitting there, I wondered who I looked like. I don't feel I look much like either one of my parents. Finally, I spoke up and said, "Well who in the hell do I look like?"
"Your Father!" they all said in unison.
Ever since I've gained weight, they said they've found it uncanny if not creepy, how much I look like my Dad. Eyes, nose, smile.....the way I walk.
I found out that my brother has copies of all the my Aunt's old 35mm films taken from 1960 to 1970. I brought them home with me so I can make copies. But before heading back to the farm, I drove around town one more time. Noticing how nothing there ever changes. Old signs and store fronts. Same bars that have been there for over 50 years. Throw in a Subway or MacDonalds here and there mixed in with the early 1900 buildings and there you have my hometown. I drove by my old highschool and college. Passed the cemetary. Still didn't stop to see my fathers grave. I never do. I drove through the park and then downtown before heading towards the farm. The sun was setting without any fanfare. Farmers were in the fields harvesting their crops. I rolled my windows down so I could enjoy the cool air.
That didn't last long due to my horrible allergies. Yeah, must have been allergies causing me to tear up.
The long 9 hour drive was was worth it once I saw Brian and was able to get a big hug and kiss. Later on that night after dinner and movie we popped in the old movies I brought back. Over and over, I watched my father in these jumpy out of focus films, just sitting there. Quiet. Smiling.
Huh...I do look like my Dad.
I just act like my Mother.
City officials just announced the official Houston 2005 Hurricane Evacuation Plan:
-Rednecks use 59 North to East Texas
-Democrats fly to Washington, DC
-Republicans use 45 South to Galveston
-Longhorns use 290 West to Austin
-Aggies use Loop 610
All kidding aside, what happened in NOLA, will probably be happening at Galveston and Houston. Possibly Corpus Christi. Dallas is already bombarded with an enormous amount of people from New Orleans. Every available hotel, apartment and Arena is packed. NOLA is under a million people. Houston is what....five million? Getting to work this morning was a complete nightmare. Traffic was almost at a standstill the entire way here. By the time the storm reaches Dallas, it should only be a Tropical Storm with winds around 40-50 miles an hour for a few days. Luckily, Brian's leaving Friday for West Texas to see his Mama and I'm heading out this afternoon to Nebraska to see mine. Guess we're getting out at the right time. I hate to see what this storm is going to do to our gulf cities. This one they say is bigger then Katrina at the moment.
Secondly, thanks to every one who gave wonderful advice regarding the kid that was beaten and the other who was arrested for standing up for him this past Sunday night. All information has been passed on to our friend who will be discussing options with them. If I hear anything else, I'll will definately let everyone know.
Thirdly, thanks for all the warm birthday wishes. Makes a guy feel good. Believe it or not, I only had a two drinks at dinner and two while at the bar. It was 10pm and I was yawning so bad I could barely keep my eyes open and asked Brian to take me home. Not that we went straight to be if you catch my drift. Boy's got to get himself some Birthday Nookie.
Here's a few kodak moments:
Click here for the nights photos.
Everyone have a great rest of the week and a good weekend. To everyone we know down South, get the hell out of town and please be safe. I'll be back next Tuesday.
Hugs and sloppy wet kisses.
Well the day has finally come. Today I turn 40 years old.
On this day forty years ago, I shot out of my mothers vagina complete with confetti and streamers, singing "I love the night life, I've got to boogie...."
Forty years and seven months ago, my mother was told that she wasn't pregnant, but that her tumor had more then likely resurfaced and would need to be removed.
Forty years ago, my mothers ex Doctor walked by her room and said, "Peggy, what are you doing here?".
Forty years ago today, my smart ass Mother said, "Oh nothing much Doc. My tumor started kicking."
Forty years ago, my parents almost named me Sally Jo, until they found out I had a penis.
Thank God I was born with a penis.
Thanks to all my friends whether you're here, out in blogdom or on the other side of the pond.
Love you all.
Rarely do I ever post twice in one day. This time I feel it's necessary. Brian and I received an email from a close friend of ours:
"Hey I have been on the phone with *name withheld* for the past 15 min. He is very upset. He had an employee call in sick yesterday morning then showed up at *name withheld* office (worried about his job) looking like he had been in a train wreck. He had been beat to a bloody pulp Sunday night (Gay Pride) after leaving the bars and walking to his car. He was jumped from behind by 3 – 4 guys screaming faggot, hitting him with what appeared to be either pipes or bats and kicking him until a car drove up and they ran. The Police were called and they told him that if they took a report from him then they would arrest him for Public Intoxication. About this time a friend of his showed up and began arguing with the police for refusing to do anything and they arrested him for disorderly conduct. *name withheld* made him go to the hospital and he got stitches in several places and has a broken nose. Both guys are very young and very scared and said they are moving back to *city witheld* because they are too scared to stay here. *name withheld*, for what ever reason cannot get anymore involved but I just feel like I have to do something…… who should I call to help get them some help. They are not going to do anything unless someone helps them. There has to be some sort of activist group that will get involved, I just don't know who it would be. Do you?"
This is total bullshit and something that happens in Dallas way too often. It shouldn't ever happen at all. The police refusing to help. Specific police have been suspended and fired for this sort of behavior in the past. My suggestion was to file a formal complaint as soon as possible against the police officers involved. Talk to their supervisors. Contact our local rag, The Dallas Voice. I figured that they need to get the story out there and that they would possibly have contact information for activist groups or lawyers in our area that could possibly help these kids.
Do any of you have any suggestions on a good course of action?
I've never had to deal with something like this, so I have no clue what to do.
The news of your company being sold or diversified can be a bit much to deal with. We received that very news yesterday morning. I'm sure we'll be bought by someone. I'm sure things will be fine. But there's always that lingering doubt and thoughts of impending doom. Like a little, small black cloud following you around. People whispering and talking. Rumors flying at lightening speed.
I was living in Kansas City and working for a local owned and operated mortgage company. Three arrogant brothers who spent most of their time on the golf course, in a bar or up some girls skirt. Once Daddy died they had to take over completely. No more play time.
I had taken this job after our department was closed while in graduate school. I had been waiting tables to make ends meet and at one point decided it was time to grow up and be responsible. A good friend told me he could get me hired. The hours were long, but the pay was good and the higher ups were known to walk through with 100 dollar bills and throw some on our desk while we sat there selling loans to government agencies late into the evening. We were a very close knit group of people. This was also my first corporate job and my first job with full benefits which after one year of being there, I found to be worth its weight in gold.
It wasn't long and I was moving up through the ranks. Getting promoted every 4-6 months or so. Once you get sucked in, they say you never leave. It was after my first year with this company, that I tested positive. It was a huge blow to me and to my fellow co-workers. A few select people still reacted in a negative way, which I guess was understandable for the time. I was handed bottles of AZT and told to take approximately 60 a day, or more if I felt like it. The drugs made me extremely tired, anemic and usually sick to my stomach. There were days that I honestly felt as if I couldn't make it in to work, but I was so terrified of losing my job and insurance, I went in anyway. My decision to get a job with full benefits and grow up, was a good thing. I needed those beneifits now more then anything.
While in the middle of dealing with all this in my life, our company started lay offs left and right. Everwhere you looked people were being told to pack up their belongings and escorted out the building. Somehow, I survived a whole year of cutbacks. We went from a company with five hundred people down to barely a hundred. Every day you sat there thinking that today was your day. I'm the next one to get the axe. The water cooler and break rooms were always buzzing with rumors, most of which were never true.
Until one day. The day I had heard the three brothers talking of selling. I immediately became one of those people I despised at work and ran to my closest co-workers and asked them if they had heard anything. My heart sank. What did selling the company mean? Would be all be let go and all the assets sold? Would some other company buy our company and keep us on? Buy our company and let us go? Finally, the offical word came down and we were told that we had been bought by a company in Dallas.
I think between dealing with being positive and this new company news, caused me to average 3-5 hours of sleep a night those last six months. I was just one little vomiting and exhausted bundle of nerves. Days after the news, our company tells us that any of us that wanted to relocate to Dallas with the new company could apply and would be first choice. I didn't hesitate and said yes immediately. You see, a few days before while at the doctors office, my doctor had mentioned an HIV specialist who was doing incredible things down in Dallas. What a coinsidence.
One week after making my big, life changing decision, friends and I went to the Renaissance Fair. I needed the afternoon to relax. A psychic read my cards and palm, telling me that I was to take a long journey soon, heading south. She looked up and told me it was Dallas. Another psychic a week later, told me the exact same thing.
Enough with the signs already, I'm going.
The rest is history. If it wasn't for me becoming positive or my company being sold, I probably never would have moved to Dallas and would never have all I have today. A wonderful man with whom I'm absolutely crazy about, tons of great friends, a good life and a good job.
Funny how things can work out.
With that being said, (nice build up, eh?) the last day to donate for my participation in the AIDS Walk will be September 30th. Anyone who hasn't donated and would like to, please click on the link under the Red Ribbon on your left. For those of you who have donated, I want to thank each and every one of you for helping me reach my goal and so far, surpassing it by 80 dollars.
I truly am one lucky son of a bitch.
On a whim, we decided to stop in and have a few cocktails early Friday night after an exhausting round of shopping in The Hood. Before you know it, we were joined by a couple of friends who learned what it is to enjoy a few Black Martini's. I'm evil. It wasn't long and we were tipsy and hungry so we trotted across the street to Havana for some Cuban food. Singing up front was this size 13 woman in a size 3 dress wearing 7 inch clear plastic stiletto heels, belting out tunes in Spanish. Ever so often people in the restaurant yelled, screamed and held up their shots of tequila.
Talk about a fish out of water.
After helping out our buddy Scott move some furniture into his new digs, we headed to Six Flags for some fun in 100 degree weather. I would assume that Gay Day at Six Flags would include.....well, some Homo's. Why in the fuck does every single christian organization and church in town have to send bus loads of people to the park on Gay Day? Despite the day not feeling very gay, we had a good time with friends yelling, screaming and sweating our balls off.
Saturday night we had a Birthday Party to attend of an acquaintence. My old roomie was going to meet us there but never showed up. I finally found out that he threw his back out "picking up a bottle of wine". Is that a new term for getting fucked in a sling?
Sunday was Pride here in Good Ol' North Texas. Brian and I bought Jackie O. sunglasses to be....well, gayer then normal.
We had a wonderful time drinking in 100 degree weather with friends and NEW friends. Rebecca from Spaghetti and Truthballs joined us for her first Gay Pride Parade ever. I think she was a tad be overwhelmed, but handled it like a trooper. She just kept getting pissed off at seeing men who were wearing her very same D&G Sunglasses. I'm sure this won't be her last Parade nor our last time hanging out. She was a hoot!
After the parade we headed down to the Round Up Saloon for trash disco, half naked men and more drinking. Mama and Twyla Starlett got to perform their routine which brought the house down. Some guys were passing out little springy wrist bands with whistles on them and got the brilliant idea of placing them on peoples naughty bits as cockrings. So yes, there I was in the bar with my goodies out for everyone to see with someone blowing the whistle. Brian wasn't too far behind me on getting his ring put on. Good times.
We finished up the evening with dinner before heading home to crash. It was a busy weekend to remember. Hopefully we'll have a little video to show you for tomorrows post.
Happy Belated Pride!
Click here for more Pride Photos.
I remember one special night, back when Brian and I were starting to date. The first few months in a relationship can be formative. You're getting to know the person on a more personal level. Finding out their likes, dislikes and quirks. You find out what makes them laugh and cry. You find out their taste in food, entertainment and even what kind of movies they like.
This was the fateful night I watched him sit there and laugh his ass off continuously at Desperate Living. An old John Waters movie. That fateful night told me a lot about the man I was going to be spending the rest of my life with.
More importantly, I learned another big life lesson. Never, EVER under any circumstances allow him to pick out a movie to see for any given evening. Last night we went to see Sound of Thunder. You've probably all heard that the month of September is a dumping month for movie studios. Movies that have been getting no promotion and horrible, shitty reviews are usually premiered in September with little or no fanfare. This movie was never even advertised. Anywhere. Reviews were calling it the next Battlefield Earth. Better yet, worse then it. But since it was involving time travel and the trailer didn't look half bad AND he was paying, I agreed.
Lord have mercy. The film was blurry, grainy and looked pieced together. Highschool Thespians were better actors then these people. The visual effects were still using the old blue screen and not the current green. I'm sure the cost of the movie didn't exceed 500 bucks. It was outright laughable. Still, it was better then watching a John Waters movie, especially one where Divine eats dogshit at the end. Anything is better then that. Am I the only person to doesn't GET John Waters? Although I do have to say his latest movie A Dirty Shame was actually pretty funny, just fucking odd as hell.
I just love giving the hubby a hard time is all. As long as I'm spending time with him, I don't care what we do or see. I'll just make sure he continues to pay for movies.
In other jaw dropping news, as Bob put it, I'm an international blogebrity (blog celebrity). A few months ago, I received some random email from someone who works for QX Magazine. I answered a few questions and totally forgot about it. He mainly wanted to know about the Gay Blogger Tribe that Palochi and I started quite a while back. If you click on QX Magazine on the left, then scroll down to 'Internet', you'll see an article about blogging. I'm mentioned with the likes of major superstars like Jockohomo and JoeMyGod. *sniff* *grabs a tissue*
It's the little things people. You take what you can get.
This weekend will prove to be exhausting. Tons of yelling and screaming at Six Flags and drinking until we puke at this years Pride Parade. Yeah, Dallas has theirs at a different time. I like to secretly think they're throwing the Parade in honor of my upcoming Birthday, so don't ruin the surprise.
Have a wonderful weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Why am I just sitting here?
My mind is blank.
Entranced and zoning out.
I haven't had a cup of coffee yet.
Maybe I'll have Chai instead.
Posting entries can be a chore.
Busy weekend ahead.
Tons of things to do.
Shit, I'm turning 40.
Yippee! I'm going to Six Flags.
Work is piling up on my desk.
Where do I start?
Everyone wants something from me.
Dammit, not another phone call.
Why are all the Managers gone this week?
I don't get paid enough.
Is it 5pm yet?
I have heartburn.
I haven't eaten or drank anything.
What the fuck?
Damn, my tattoo is itching.
Who here has lotion?
Might as well get to work.
Not accomplishing anything here.
Fuck it, I'll go read other peoples blogs....
I'm driving down the highway this morning, traveling my usual 75 miles per hour and listening to NPR. Six lane highway. I come up to the split in the highway. Three far left lanes veer to the left, three right lanes veer to the right. Some dickwad in the far left lane decides at the last moment that he needs to veer right and just cuts across all lanes of traffic.
I look up and 7 to 8 cars in front of me are slamming on their brakes and starting to skid sideways. I immediately slam on mine and started skidding sideways myself, picturing my brand new Mustang getting smashed on all sides. In the rearview mirror I could see someone in a minivan, swerving all over the road trying not to ram me in the ass. All I could see were her lights moving back and forth. I watched in front of me as cars were sliding sideways, trying to get out of the way. I couldn't go to the left or the right to avoid the pile up I saw that was going to happen.
What seemed like a longer time then it was, only took seconds.
Somehow the minivan made it around me on my right hand side, barely missing the back end of my car. I look up and I'm only inches away from the truck in front of me. We all just sat there for a moment, 10-15 cars at this point, facing all different directions. As we started getting back into our lanes and going the right direction, I ended up passing the person in the minivan. I look over, expecting some sort of "sigh of relief" type of gesture or "thank God we didn't get killed" sort of expression......
Instead, the bitch gives me a dirty look and flips me off.
I think my heart is still pounding....
I’m not sure if anyone has realized this or not, but *crowd gasps* I’m bald. As hard as this news might come to you, yes it’s true. Tabloids have speculated on it for years, but now YOU know the truth. All kidding aside, Brian brought up a *crowd gasps again* a good point while getting ready this morning. Let me remind you how Brian’s brain works. His mind is turned on like a TV. Someone else has the remote control and they’re channel flipping like crazy. Things tend to come out of nowhere. I heart him.
"If they developed a pill that amazingly re-grew your hair back, would you take it?"
While sitting on the crapper listening to him be all bubbly in the shower, I sat there thought about. What better place to contemplate, huh? “No, I don’t think I would”, I said. “There are times that I miss having hair when I see some of the new hair fashions, but I wouldn’t miss pissing away 30-50 bucks on a hair cut”. Don’t even get me started on hair products.
My high school and college years were in the 80’s. We lived, breathed, ate, slept and shit hair 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our life revolved around hair. Clothing was second. Hair was the topic of discussion in our family for breakfast, lunch and dinner for as many years as I can remember. My Father would every so slightly look up from his bacon, fried eggs, hashbrowns and pancakes (which he ate every single morning of his life) and would have something to say about my latest hairdo or hairdon’t. When my sister had her gigantic beehives during the 50’s there was hair discussion while they ate so I’m told. When my brother grew his bangs out in the 60’s to look like the Beatles, they talked about hair. When my other brother was growing up in the 70’s and never wanted to cut his hair, all hair broke loose.
“Well back in my day, you didn’t go around with…” *slap* “Hush up and eat your breakfast Ray. Leave the kids alone.” my Mother would blurt out like clockwork.
When the 80’s came around, I’m sure that his daily, artery clogging breakfast wasn’t what caused his first of many heart attacks. It was my Flock of Seagulls hair, my bi-level cut with 8 inch bangs that hung over one eye or my spiral perm complete with “the claw” for bangs. Run! Cover your EYES!! SAVE THE CHILDREN!
No, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d still buy my 29.99 clippers at Target and clip it down to nearly nothing every couple of days as I do now. I’m not even sure what I would look like anymore if I had hair. Although one of those fauxhawks I see them there youngin’s wearing these days sure would be nice to try. Still…too much work.
Although I’m sure if Pop was still alive, he’d have something to say about my shaved head. Don’t even get me started on the shrieks and screams I’ll hear when my Mother sees the tattoo on my back. Getting Mickey Mouse was bad enough. Maybe I should tell her to go have a physical before my next visit home.
Now if there were magic pills to instantly give me a bigger ass or rippling muscles or to remove nose and ear hair or smooth out wrinkles…..or say, enlarge the penis. Not that I have an issue with what’s at the end of my treasure trail, but more is better, right?
After dealing with pain and gooey neosporin all weekend, I was ready for some fun. We were on the go all weekend long. But before we continue, what's up with everyone checking out my ass in the video I posted Saturday? Maybe gaining weight has finally given 'dis boy some booty. I've never HAD an ass, so I haven't checked back there to see if one has magically appeared.
Saturday we headed to Grapevine Texas for the annual GrapeFest. Once everyone in the city put hair product in their mullets, dusted off their Harley's and brushed their tooth, the city was in full swing. Tons of crappy artsy fartsy artist, variety of food, carnival rides and fat ugly men wearing way too tight, black leather Lederhosen. They were everywhere! I just felt sorry for this poor girl who parent's made her WEAR this fucking outfit:
The afternoon was cut a bit short due to the heat and someone itching to go car shopping again. I was going to meet up with Rebecca from Spaghetti and Truthballs (A new aquaintence from Arlingtong Texas! Go say HI!), but hopefully that can happen another day here soon. Although nothing compared to some of the bigger street fairs we attend every year, it was nice and qaint none the less. Except for the Attack Of The Clown Trash Cans!!!
We nearly lost it when we stumbled across this kiddy ride. It took every fiber of our being not to buy tickets and take a little spin. If only they had a ride like this down in the gayborhood for all the Bears. I mean how gay is this ride? A bear wearing overalls and the ride is called Bear Affair!
After two hours in the horrible heat this is what we felt like:
Check out all the pics from the GrapeFest here.
Afterwards, Brian wanted to hit a few Mazda dealerships. It seems he's already changed his mind on what kind of car he wants. Two hours later, guess who's driving home with a brand new car.
Later that night we headed out for another pool party in Oakcliff. I have to say that this party was pretty tame by most standards. I only saw one penis and it was from a guy Brian dated for a couple months way back in the day. Someone ripped off the guys towel while he was peeing and ran with it. Brian was pretty tipsy by this point. You could tell it by when you heard him singing the song 'Memories' when we all saw his exboyfriend naked. *rolls eyes* Needless to say, I stayed sober to dwive my dwunk boyfwiend home. One of the highlights of the evening though, was meeting this hairy motherfucker from Vienna Austria. Was one of the sweetest guys with the cutest little accent, but my GOD that hair! He met his hubby online and moved here to be with him a couple months ago. Talk about "Love My Carpet!"
Dontcha just want to bury your face in that fur?
Check out the Pool Party Pics with no Penises here. Give me a break, I tried to find naked men!
Sunday was spent organizing our guest bedroom for all the guest that will be staying there someday. Which reminds me, I must stock up on little mints, condoms and lube for the pillows. Later that night we got invited to one fo the many Birthday dinners we have this month. Damn, everyone in the country must have been doing nothing but fucking during the cold month of January. Nine months later and we have and ungodly amount of September Birthdays. That makes me think. I'm born in September. My sister was born in September. My one brother was born in October and my other brother was born in October. Some can be said about harsh Nebraska winters.
I'm pooped.
Markmas....like Christmas, but different. My month long Birthday Celebration officially started last night, although the offical day I popped out of my momma's vagina is the 21st.
Check out the video and photo:
I hate budgeting as much as I hate Clowns, horses, bugs and any cold blooded animal. It sucks big donkey dicks to have to do, but it's something that's required.
When I was in highschool, Mommy and Daddy just gave me money whenever I asked or begged for it. I was their only child who was getting near straight A's compared to my siblings which barely made it out of Highschool, so working a part time job wasn't an option for me. It's what made me spoiled rotton. Budgeting not required.
In College, it was pretty much the same thing although my ever growing need to buy more parachute pants, MC Hammer pants, ocean pacific t-shirts and corduroy shorts, vans shoes, Cavaricci dress pants and Generra Clothing (which I just found out they STILL make!) became too much for my parents to keep up with, so I was allowed to have a part time job as long as it didn't interfere with my studies, choir, piano lessons and my art studio time. Budgeting not required.
Grad School required a tad bit more budgeting on my part. I had grant checks and teaching assistant stipends to spread throughout the months. I was selling my glasswork like I was Dale Chihuly (I wish), so that supplemented my income enough to not to worry about it too much. Once Grad School fell apart and I was forced to wait tables, I had money at the end of every single day. Enough for drinking and paying rent. Budgeting mostly not required.
Ever since then I had to be an adult and sit down before each paycheck and determine what's due and how much and which ones I can put off for a while. Nothing gets put off for a while anymore. Those days are long gone. Yesterday I geeked out and created a spreadsheet for Brian and I. We both have numerous bills all due at various times. I get paid twice a month on the same days and he gets paid once a week. Just a simple spreadsheet any monkey could create that totals up bills and subtracts from your take home pay and shows you how little you have left over to play with. Now that I think about it, it's a fucking depressing little spreadsheet and it must be destroyed. My GOD what have I done!!!???
Guess I don't want to continue to grow up. I want to stay a kid with no cares or worries or bills, but that isn't going to happen. Before you know it we might even get a *hush falls across the room*....."joint checking account" *gasp!* Althought I'm not sure it's such a good idea yet. I'll see money in our bank account and there's a sale going on somewhere and the account starts speaking to me in a barely audible whisper....."go shopping....spend money....Brian won't care....you NEED it...."
Not sure Brian fully realizes what he's gotten himself into dating me.
In other jaw dropping news that I'm sure you're sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for me to talk about, I'm getting my tattoo tonight. It's a cross that's very tribal in it's design. All black. You'll see it posted this weekend. As someone mentioned to me, just picture us drinking shots, tons of sailors and Tom of Finland type Tattoo Artist working me over in more ways then one. Hmmm, nice fantasy.
Tomorrow we might go to Grape Fest in Grapevine Texas. Sort of a Texas Wine tasting fair thingymabobber. Street fair with artist, winery tours and tasting, entertainment and yes....a grape stomping competition. Nothing like taking what should be a foo-foo-shee-shee-na-na event and up-ing the redneck quotient.
Later that night it's another half or mostly naked Bear Pool Party. I'm getting to the point where I've seen all of them naked by now and seen half of them giving and receiving blowjobs and other unmentionable acts, so the excitability factor is waning.
I'll try and force myself to have a good time anyway.
I'll just push the penises out of my way.
Yes, yes... I know. I'm late. Doctors appointment and all.
Going to the Doctor every 3 months is always a sobering experience even until this day. I'm always the type of person to arrive everywhere I go 10-20 minutes early. Heck, you never know if you can get in to see the Doc a tad bit early. While sitting there sipping my Chai and randomly flipping through magazines without a care in the world, I tend to get caught up watching people. A trait I think I picked up from my parents. Big people watchers.
While sitting there, I watch and study. Trying to figure out what's wrong, what they're going through, what their life must be like. Up until a month or so ago when I had my kidney problems, I've basically been extremely healthy with very little side effects or issues to deal with. I know there's many out there that struggle with their meds, loss of jobs, relying on others for help and aid or even dealing with pain and discomfort on a daily basis.
I'm one lucky mother fucker and I'm reminded of it every doctors visit.
I see people being wheeled in on wheel chairs. People needing oxygen to help them breathe. Patients covered in kaposi's sarcoma. Patients who have had so much wasting that they're practically skin and bones. They look pale, sickly and tired. Really tired. Issues are made worse when I hear them complaining about their insurance or the receptionist has told them something isn't covered or they can't be seen because they can't pay their copay of twenty dollars.
My good mood is always knocked down a few notches and realize there's so much more research and stuff to be done. So many ways to help people and to volunteer. I have good insurance, wonderful supportive partner, friends and family. I have incredible health for the most part and today again was surprised at how well things are getting along.
Tcells were 898
Viral is 300 (undetectable)
Cholesterol 191 (512 three months ago)
Triglyceride 552 (1522 three months ago)
Kidney functions 2.0 (normal 1.5 so I'm getting close to normal again)
Good cholesterol 39 (should be 40, so only one point away)
A few counts aren't perfect yet, but I guess I'm doing something right. HIV is totally under control and doing amazing. Little kidney and cholesterol/triglyceride issue has some work. I just can't get the 15+ people sitting in the waiting room that weren't looking so good today. The amount seems more then usual this morning.
While contemplating turning 40 in less than two weeks, I haven't been that upbeat about it.
On top of the many things I'm grateful for, I'm grateful for being almost 40 and healthy.
Car shopping that is. Please, what were YOU thinking? That I had some sort of brain aneuryism, right? Some demon had taken over my body? The apocalypse was happening? I had turned straight? Please, this boy still likes to shop like there's no tomorrow, but shopping for a car is like having a red hot poker shoved up your ass.
Sideways...
No, I'm not trading in my Mustang, Brian The Car Freak is looking for a new vehicle. Yesterday morning, his Vintage 1995 Mercedes C Class has decided that it doesn't want to work. You insert the key and the key will not turn a millimeter. Nothing. Nada. We tried everything. Local dealers tell him it will cost $300 to $1000 to fix depending on which of the two issues it might be.
Well ain't that just a kick in the ass.
So after a yummy dinner at Hunky's in the gayborhood, we trotted over to Obscurities to talk to a tattoo artist. I'm turning 40 in a couple weeks. I'm having a mid-life crisis. I bought a little sporty car, dating someone ten years younger then I am so I figured that I needed to get a tat to seal the deal. More on that this coming weekend after it's completed.
After "doing something for me", it was time to "do something for him". I hate this give and take bullshit, especially when it comes to me having to walk around a hot, steamy parking lot looking at cars with leeches coming at you from every direction to sell you a car. Theirs is always the best, the competitions are all crap. Blah, blah fucking, blah. Heard it all before. Being the car aficionado that he is, Brian usually told them things about the car that the salesrep didn't even know. At times I was embarrassed for them a little.
You should have seen me trying to be all sneaky and trying to drive up to these places, slip out of our cars and disappear into the lot without being seen. This was usually followed by a frustrating "DAMMIT!" when they saw us.
After three different dealerships, we headed towards home. Did I forget to mention with gas prices at $3 a gallon that he made me drive all the way to Duncanville Texas and all we came back with are brochures? Anyhoo, we decided to stop by the Ford dealership before settling in for a long nights sleep. I love shopping there. It's where I've bought my last 4 cars. Somehow we were able to avoid detection for quite some time and even found an open vehicle to jump in when it started to rain. Oh, did I mention he forced me to look at cars in the rain?
We were finally caught by this short, little chubby of a man with belt and shoes that did NOT match. I'm sorry, but if you're going to be selling cars to Homo's in the Hood, wear matching shoes and belt. He had wild buggy eyes, out of control curly hair which was so dry it made me thirsty and a huge zit on his neck that I couldn't stop staring at. I swear it was pulsating and had a hair sticking out of it. Despite looking like a circus freak reject, the son of a bitch knew his shit, was friendly and not too overbearing. But after talking shop for over an hour, I think Brian's settling in on the new Ford Fusion.
Cute little car which is going to give Honda Accords and Toyota Camrys a run for their money. They remind me of a little Mercedes C Class. He told us that Ford somehow snagged the top designer from Volkswagon and now he's ahead of design for Ford now. You can totally see it in all the new 2006 models.
Wow. We'll be a Ford Family!
I hope he chooses this car. I really do. Normally he changes his mind more then he changes his underwear, but this car he keeps coming back to. He likes so many kinds of cars, that he can't make up his frackin' mind. Worse then me trying to pick out an outfit to wear or which cologne I should be putting on depending on the time of year, time of day and what I'm going to be doing.
So this morning we commuted to work for the first time. Waking up together, getting ready together, driving to work together.
*thinks for a moment*
I'm sure we'll kill each other within the next 3-4 weeks.
Despite having either Texas red ant or spider bites on my feet, the entire weekend at Rainbow Ranch was one of the most relaxing and exhausting weekends if that can be possible. I'm still itching and scratching like a motherfucker. Something about 95 degree heat, cooking outside, swimming pools and sleeping in a tent that can have adverse affects on oneself. Note to the owners Brad and Ray. Kill every single creepy crawly bug and I'll sleep in a tent again. Otherwise, make sure a cabin or the Streamline is ready upon our arrival. These boys found out how much of a girl they are when it comes to roughing it and I'm not referring to sex.
Brian and I arrived Friday afternoon and spent the next two hours putting up our first tent and setting up camp. We were next to a group of loud, but very friendly lesbians who did nothing but drink, fish and play horseshoes all weekend. The other side of us had a lesbian couple and their four, count 'em FOUR Great Danes! Sounded like a fucking stampede when they had to go poop. Our initial night was nothing but hanging with some of our friends and drinking to the point where Brian stumbled all the way back to the tent. He tried to initiate sex, which in that state was hilarious all by itself. He passed out within two minutes.
After countless people having to cancel coming with us, our friend Brad was able to join us at least. Saturday was spent relaxing by the pool while the boys got things ready for the nights show. If my boyfriend starts doing drag, we're going to have a problem. He ain't pretty.
The show was absolutely hilarious. Brian helped with all the digital media and I took some pictures and videos. Mama and Twyla were joined by some local Rainbow Ranch fellas named The Lee Sisters. See both links below for clips from the nights show.
Sunday was spent recouperating from Saturday. Frying our bodies by the pool, suffing our faces with food, spraying on bottles of OFF Bug Spray and lighting every Citronela torch we could get our hands on. Shaking out the tent Monday afternoon, was pretty scary. I can't tell you the number of spiders we encountered. Believe it or not, I butched it up this weekend and only screamed once when I was being chased by a bumble bee.
All about baby steps.
Check out our Yahoo Photo Album titled, Labor Day 2005.
Here's a few quick shots:
Bob Barker and Secretia Jackson on The Price is Right!
Stever Irwin's encounter with a Bear in the Woods
Mangie gives birth with Regina's help
Gospel Tent Revival with the Sisters!
The Lee Sisters
The Lee Sisters and their Star Spangled Tribute
Seeing sunsets like this every night
Tired, dirty, smelly, unshaven and smelling like a combo of Off and Citronela, we headed home. Hope you're Holiday was a memorable one.
Ours sure was....
Let me bitch about the situation in New Orleans one more time. If this were predominantly a white city, would our government take this long to restore order, give these people some help or get them the hell out of there? Would we still be declining help from other nations? Are we too proud to even accept help from anyone?
More then 100,000 people will be moved into Dallas from the New Orleans area by this weekend. All our arena's are full. Every low to middle budget hotel in the area is filled to capacity. Where are these people going to go when their credit cards max out? The local SPCA will be receiving over 9000 animals by this weekend. If they're not picked up by their owner or adopted, all will be slaughtered within days. Some people in our low income areas of Dallas are taking in anywhere from 10-20 total strangers into their homes. Which I think is a wonderful gesture, but could potentially turn out to be a nightmare for these people. You never know who you're taking into your home. They're estimating that more then half will stay in Dallas and never return home. Our fire and police departments to not have the manpower to patrol the areas inindated with the hurricane refugees.
The Anti-Christ Our President sheds two days off from his vacation. He flys over the devastation in the comfort of Air Force One. Tells people that he understands how people are desperate and the situation in the south is a nightmare. He tells Americans to "watch how much they drive" to save on gas. *rolls eyes*
Send some fucking help down there and here you fucking douchebag of a President. I'm sorry, but they honestly act like it's not a priority. We responded to the Tsunami faster then this. Sorry to vent, but after hearing the lastest news this morning, I'm gone from being saddened and upset to just plain pissed off.
People down there are dying left and right. From what? Dehydration. People in our own country are dying from no food and water.
I just don't get it.
On to more light hearted things. If I could get across the pond and kick Bob's ass I would, but I heart him too much. Have you noticed how Meme's were all the rage back in the day? Now, you see a meme on someones site and you scroll down ever so gently to see if you've been tagged.
It's become the 'practical joke' to do to a fellow blogger friend.
Plus when Bob said this, what choice do you have?:
"However, if you don't play it means you're a big poopy-pants and you need to go to a Scientology course to clear whatever high-fallutin' i-don't-meme issues you might be harboring."
Well I guess that settles that.
7 things I plan to do before I die:
1) Get the hell fucked out of me by Vin Diesel. Sorry honey, he's on my list of celebrities you have to step aside so I can have sex with....or you can watch....or join in.
2) Buy a piano and start playing again
3) Take a trip to Europe (to kick Bob's ass and...well to do some sightseeing)
4) Blow glass again
5) Take a trip to Hawaii
6) Have a one man show in Dallas
7) Host GB:NYC35
7 things I can do:
1) Draw, paint, ceramics, blow glass (lumped them all as one)
2) Play the Piano (a little rusty)
3) Keep a tight run household when the boyfriend isn't messing it up. Love you punkin!
4) Be a good friend
5) Listen
6) Talk a mile a minute
7) Eat and entire large thin crust hamburger pizza from Pizza Hut all by myself
7 things I cannot do:
1) Play any sort of sports. I'm sportstarded
2) Get within 10 feet of a Clown
3) Visit a hauted house during Halloween
4) Eat Liver
5) Eat Taco's from some hole in the wall Mexican restaurant or street vendor. I guarantee you it's part of the cow you normally wouldn't THINK of putting in your mouth.
6) Eat meat that's on a bone, unless I'm absolutely starving
7) Ride a horse
7 things that attract me to the opposite, or in most of my readers case, SAME sex :
1) Must make me laugh
2) Total opposite of me
3) Beautiful set of eyes
4) A job and a car
5) Spontaneity, since I have not one ounce of it
6) Hairy, shaved head, facial hair, hairy, stocky built and...hairy
7) Tenderness
7 things that I say most often:
1) God BLESS it!!! (Mama beat it into me not to say the G.D. word although it slips from time to time)
2) Stop leaving your dirty clothes around the house!
3) Do we have to watch Comedy Central and Cartoon Channel again?
4) I don't know honey, where do YOU want to eat?
5) You've got to be fucking kidding me?
6) Don't play with my nipples unless I'm cumming
7) I love you
7 celebrity crushes:
1) Vin Diesel (obviously)
2) Ryan Renolds
3) Paul Rudd
4) Steve Zahn
5) Aaron Lewis, lead singer from the band Staind.
6) Paul Walker
7) The Rock. I'm sorry I can't help it.
There, I'm done. Not to worry, I'm not passing on the Meme. If you would like to participate, please feel free.
Have a save and wonderful Labor Day Weekend. We'll be camping with 250 other Homo's and returning Monday night. I plan to come back with stories, videos and pictures.
Be safe...
I haven't said anything about our neighbors to the East of us. I check CNN every hour, listen to NPR, catch a few stories on the TV. After a while, it's so overwhelming. Just this morning, shots were being fired at the Superdome while people are trying to get on the buses.
Then you see the softer side of things. People are coming into Texas by the thousands. Hotels are filled to capacity. Their children are enrolling in our schools today. Universities throughout the area are housing families. They're moving people to the Astrodome in Houston. Families here are taking in their own families. Strangers are helping strangers. Every where you look, one of the local radio stations has set up donation spots. Most area businesses are taking donations and many are matching dollar for dollar, if not more. One man this morning on the radio called and said he had a 3 bedroom home that is empty. He's giving it to a family or families to use for however long is needed.
Just when you think that your faith in humanity has faltered, you hear stories of what people are doing.
Bitching about astronomical gas prices seems to have dwindled some due to Katrina's devastation, although an 18 wheeler truckdriver mentioned on the radio show this morning that it cost him 750 bucks to fill up his Semi. Back in the Midwest my mother mentioned this morning that many Farmers do not have the money for gas to get their crops in. Just wait until food prices skyrocket to compensate for the Oil Companies 50% profit increase.
I'm looking forward to a 4 day getaway to the middle of nowhere and go camping.
Maybe someone will hit the worlds reset button while we're gone.
During the week, I've been trying my skills at painting on plexiglass. Need something to take my mind off things and to keep me busy while Brian's busy working on the show this weekend at the campgrounds.
I snapped some quick shots of it this morning before heading to work. Here's the result hanging over our bed. Pics had to be taken at an angle due to the glare of the plexi.
