It seems that my gayplex mate G has caught my dog Palin on his webcam. Now I know what my dog has been doing while I'm away at work slaving away to provide him his Kibbles & Bits and Snausages. This explains his munchies.
No wonder he's been a moody little bitch.
Courtesy of www.fark.com
Since all photos of our Pride trip down to Houston have bit the dust, I guess I can visually try to stimulate you with my words. Heh....I said stimulate. THAT, plus I don't have anything else to write about today, other then the fact that if it rains ONE MORE DAY here I'm slitting my wrist.
I hadn't been down to Houston in quite a long time. Damn! I thought Dallas was hot and muggy. At one point after a small rain, steam was actually rising up from the pavement, making it look like fog. Good thing I don't have hair on the top of my head. My chest hair was frizzing enough the way it was. We arrived around 4pm after filling up our tummy's with some amazing mexican food. They must think you pee gold after drinking their margarita's. Nine bucks a piece. Who are they kidding?
We wandered around Montrose (gayborhood) and ended up at The Mining Company for a cocktail. Did I mention Brian and I had along his buddy Kelly and his two non-english speaking lesbadykus friends? We spoke through translation most of the evening. Not easy after 6 beers. We were all about being cheap so we headed over to JR's since the dollar draft bar wasn't up and ready yet. I ended up meeting these two women in their 50's. One of them just thought I was scrumptious and kept pinching my cheeks (the ones on my face) and telling me I had purdy eyes. I felt like she was an irritating aunt who wanted to sleep with her own nephew. *shudders*
We went back to The Mining Company for cheap beer. Some older man approached us and after 10 minutes of conversation asked if he could join us in a 3 way. Damn some people have balls. We declined. That didn't keep Mr. Handsygrabyourcrotchalot from continuing to try. We were saved by some young twink who specializes in seducing older rich men. Thank GOD. Sadly enough, he ditched the guy probably because he didn't make enough money and hung out with us. Poor kid spent the rest of the night trying to get "the hook up" so he could party and then proceeded to also ask us for a 3 way. We ever so graciously declined again.
Being Out and Proud must mean 3 ways these days. I must have not gotten the memo.
Houston's Pride parade started around 9pm. Homo's on floats draped in Christmas lights, spot lights, disco balls and fog machines. It actually was a pretty cool site to behold. Although I remember very little of the actual parade itself. At one point I remember bumping and grinding with Brian in a straight bar while people looked on. Cautiously. Eventually, Brian (who was a Sold Gold Dancer in a previous life) jumped up on stage to shake his thang.
After numerous beers, Kelly and I were standing on top of the table watching the parade go by. We hear people behind us yelling, "Dance for us!!!" So we did. Hell, we had to appease our fans. Until the table came crashing down to the ground. I have to say that we never dropped our beer or lost our beads. We even landed on our feet! Immediately we hopped up on a couple of chairs and joined Brian. Five minutes later, Kelly falls over and is caught by a very helpful lesbian. Man they came in handy that night.
Speaking of lesbians, I met a very beautiful girl that night. Her goal was to get laid so I was trying to find her the hook up. She's very alternative. Black clothing, body piercings and tattoos adorned her body. I looked down the sidewalk and low and behold, I see this other beautiful alternative treehugging looking lesbian coming towards us. I rush to introduce myself and asked her to meet my new found friend who wanting to munch box. Turns out their sisters. No, really. Real sisters.
The rest of the night was kind of fuzzy for me. Eating homemade tamales bought from some mexican woman. Hanging with a couple lesbians who had on matching plaid shirts. Yes, I teased them about it all night. I do remember going to a place called House of Pies. Thought it was a new lesbian bar but turned out to be....well a place that sold actual pies.
We spent the next day taking it easy before our trip home.
Dallas celebrates Pride in September, calling it the Alan Ross Freedom Parade. Everyone come on down now, ya hear?
First off the bad news. My camera won't completely turn on, even after putting in brand new batteries. So the pictures of my half naked hairy body covered in pride beads and sweat are either lost or will not be viewed by the general public until the camera is fixed. If the camera has to be replaced I'm going postal. You could hear my stomach start to tighten and make nasty noises. No, it wasn't the Kung Pao Chicken followed by alcohol. You could actually see the veins that form on either side of my temple and snake backward on my skull. I immediately became snippy and pessimistic. The camera is only 6 months old.
I know I react poorly in situations like this. I'm known to fly off the handle. Bitch and moan. Throw a tiny temper tantrum. Sulk and pout. Luckily it doesn't last very long, but pity the people that are around me. Bless his heart. Brian tried all he could and is going to continue to work on the camera today. If all else fails, we'll have to send it in to be fixed. I hate having him see me in that type of mood.
Believe it or not, I use to have a horrible temper. I know it's a trait I inherited from my Father. He was never a man to ever lay a hand on his kids. He knew better. He knew he might not be able to control himself when he was angry. He would always look at my mother and say, "Mama, take care of this." Then mama would spank my ass instead. Dad would leave and go for a walk. That's how he dealt with his temper. A nice long walk to clear his head.
I was notorious for blowing up at the first signs of being angry. My friends could actually tell when my head was going to explode by those pesky veins on the sides of my temples. My current boss has already picked up on the warning signs. He'll ask me right away what's happened. But I've learned what stressing out and not controlling your anger can do. My blood pressure skyrockets, my heart races and my stomach starts to gurgle. First thing I grab is a bottle of maalox and start chewing away.
I take walks like my Dad. I relax or do something else to get my mind off of it. I don't dwell on the thing that made me angry for hours or days on end like I use to. I get mad then get over it quickly. My blood pressure and my stomach both thank me.
Life's too short to sweat the small stuff.
It's only a camera.
UPDATE: After time spent with the support techs online and on the phone, it has been determined the camera is no longer among the living. She's passed on to that great photoshop in the sky. May she rest in peace.
Since the camera cannot be powered up, all 70 photos from Houston Pride are gone. I need to buy one of those damned memory cards. Lesson learned.
I'm all prided (is that a word?) out. No more beads and silly hats. No more dancing leather queens in thongs. No more dykes on bykes. No more bad drag queens. No more standing in line forever to buy a beer. No more peeing in a bathroom with 30 other men watching. No more having some lesbian working the door at a bar tell us to go to a bar that has men. No more invites for you and your boyfriend to be in a three-way. No more dancing on tables. No more falling off chairs. No more buying fresh homemade tamales off the street from some woman you don't even know. No more dirty dancing with your boyfriend in front of a huge crowd of onlookers. No more trying to help a lesbian you just met find a woman to get it on with. No more, "Oh my. You're from Dallas? Well, we still like you anyway."
I have no more pride. I'm done.
Well.....until next year.
It was an incredible time. Pictures and details of the weekends events to follow.
Now is a time for recovery.
It seems we're off to Houston to celebrate Pride Weekend. I've never been to their night time parade before, so it should be fun to see homo's draped in Christmas lights.
Silly queers.
It's kind of sad that I had to find out about June 27th from one of my best friends. I'm glad she posted about it and feel I have to do the same. Everyone needs to get tested and educate themselves regarding HIV.
It's been more then 11 years since I found out. I don't even like to think of what would have happened if I had put off getting tested for months or even years. I always got tested every six months, whether I felt I had to or not. I'm glad I found out right away and had the opportunity to do something about it.
Please take out the time if you haven't recently, to get tested. Take a friend with you.
Give yourself, your partner or the people you sleep with peace of mind.
****************
Last night I met Brian out at JR's. I got to meet another group of his friends. He's quite popular it seems. This group was different though. I felt really at ease. We talked, laughed and joked around. After 5 rasberry Stoli and Ginger Ale's (thanks Crash) and Brian on his....oh...we lost count, we all became quite the festive group. Funny how the drunker gay friends get, the more grabbing, fondling and groping goes on. Mostly between Brian and I. Right in the middle of our drunken stupor my phone rings. I look down and it's Homer! He got to talk to a MOC (muppet on crack) for a few minutes. Yes, that's me. Although I was more of a slurring muppet on crack after taking a really bad hit. (I should clarify that MOC is what Zenchick referred to me as, after a night of drinking together) This morning as I dragged my hungover ass out of bed I thought to myself, Damn! I drunkdialed Homer last night. Then I remembered. No, he soberdialed me.
Oh thank GOD.
I put off writing anything on or around Fathers Day. It's not a day I think about much anymore. Within the past few weeks, Glenn and also a good friend of mine both lost their mothers. It's not easy losing a parent and my heart went out to both of them. I've had a flood of memories come rushing back recently.
I've always considered myself to be the biggest mama's boy. I'm proud of it and wouldn't have it any other way. As I've mentioned some before, I was never as close to my father as my other siblings. I think he saw that I was different and unique and had a difficult time relating to me growing up. It wasn't that he didn't love me or wasn't proud of me. He was. He just showed it in differently. I would find out through my family or friends about how much he would brag about me, show them my artwork or tell them about all my accomplishments in school. It wasn't until the last few years he was alive did I ever felt a bond or connection with him.
I felt that his death hit me harder then the rest of the family. I finally had the closeness with my father I had always wanted. Just as quickly as it came, it was being taken away. I was such a stoic figure during the funeral. Not wanting to shed a tear. Shaking everyones hand and thanking them for coming. Trying to be strong for my mother. It wasn't until I lead my mother out of the church to the limosine, did I totally lose my composure. None of us knew what to expect. There were over 600 people in attendence at his funeral. He was a well known, liked and respected man and it showed. I walked out with mother on my arm and my knees started to buckle. My own mother had to hold up her youngest son. Behind the hearse and limo was a sea of firetrucks, ambulances, police, sheriff and highway patrol cars all with their lights on. Every officer and fireman in the motorcade stood there attention. Saluting us as we walked by.
The silence was almost deafening.
You could hear your own heart beat.
When my mother started dating again, I seemed to be the only person in the family that had a problem with it. Everyone else loved the man. Her current husband was very wishywashy about commiting to the relationship in the beginning. I'm very protective of her. I just knew he would hurt her.
I was very leery of him when they got married 3 years ago. I had a hard time opening up to him and getting close. I would sit there while he rambled on (he's quite the talker) about this and that. I tried to act interested. I tried to find something to say to him. Nothing would come out.
I felt horrible for not giving him a chance.
After a couple years, I slowly grew to like him. He treated my mother like a queen. They acted like a 16 year old highschool couple when they were together. She would sit right next to him as they rode in the car, leaning ever so slightly on his shoulder. My mother was happy and content. How could I not like him?
Today my mother told me she was sending me something in the mail. She had her husband go into town to mail the package. He wanted it to get here as soon as possible so he paid extra for two day delivery. He told my mother this and she said, "There was no reason to rush the package. He can receive it next week." "Well, he's MY Son too honey and I wanted him to have it soon", he said. She had to smile.
My mother asked me if it bothered me that he refers to me as his "Son".
Not one bit.
Happy belated Fathers Day.....to both of you.
Before heading down to the Dollar Theater to see a cheap movie, Brian and I decided to take a walk around a nearby park.
Earlier in the evening, I stepped off the curb to get into the Explorer and I didn't notice that I had parked right next to the gutter drain thingy. I didn't realize of course that the street level around the gutter is about 6 inches lower. I stepped down, twisted my ankle and proceeded to shove most of my left leg into the gutter as my arm had somehow twisted itself around my head in some contorted manner. All of this while holding my manpurse and a change of clothes. I let out the slightest of whimpers so not to let the family sitting in the front yard across the street see how much pain I was in. I just received an email from my gayplex mate G saying that he saw me tumble and was wondering if I was OK. Fuck, someone saw me! I think my pride was hurt more then anything else. Although I am slightly limping this morning *insert 'Awww, poor baby' here* I'm glad that he had a good laugh. I'm sure the look on my face was priceless.
Damn, all that preface to tell you why we went for a walk in the park. It was to loosen up my ankle. Ask me what time it is and I'll tell you how to build a watch, huh?
Where in the hell am I going with this story? While walking around the park, we came up on a group of ducks. We were able to witness our own little duck porn which includes this odd white duck that kept getting in the way. I couldn't understand what his purpose was in this little downfilled porn. There were two male and one female mallard duck, along with the "out of place" lone white duck. It was obvious one duck was hitting on the female. He was bobbing his head up and down, shaking his tail feather, chasing her around, trying to put on a condom and basically annoying the shit out of her. In comes the white duck to separate them. The male is persistant and keeps trying to mount his new sweetie. The white duck always comes at the last moment to the rescue his little friend right before proper mounting. This little scenario is played out a few more times. Out of the blue, in comes male number two and trys to sweep the female away from the persistant male. Now the white duck has two courting males on his hands to ward off from the unsuspecting whoreduck. While The White Stallion Duck is fending off the first male, the second male swoops in and mounts the female with fervant passion and gets the job done (within seconds I might add) while no one is looking. Once the white ducky sees what has transpired and the first male duck is pissed off that he didn't get laid, Mr. White explodes into the scene and runs the 2nd male off into the sunset then goes back to consol the first duck. He was SO damn protective of her.
What was the purpose of the white duck you might ask?
That was her queer duck friend.
*gives a whole new meaning to 'biting downfilled pillow' right Zenchick?*
It's a love/hate relationship. I woke up this morning, crawled out of bed, scratched my ass and walked by braille to the bathroom for my morning ritual. Brian was sleeping away. As I stood there as I do every morning befeore taking care of the Three S's, staring into the mirror, examining all the lines, wrinkles and bags, I heard the thunder clap and though, "Ah, shit..."
I'm not a fan of the rain. Thunder, lightening, wind and that wonderful smell that sometimes happens during a storm is wonderful. The rain? I hate it. If I'm in bed, snuggled next to someone warm, windows open, letting my senses take everything in, I'll feel like I'm in my own private slice of heaven. Day or night. I'll be laying there as I did this morning, trying to conjure up any excuse so I don't have to go to work. I wanted to throw open the windows, listen to the storm and have my way with him. After making myself pretty, I kissed him goodbye and headed downstairs. It was a deluge! The end of the world really must be going to happen soon. All it does is rain here. I might as well move to Seattle. No wonder they have the highest suicide rate in the country. No wonder Starbucks originated there and you can find a store every 50 feet or so. You have to drink espresso constantly just to stay awake. I absolutely love the city, but only from June through August. I honestly don't see how people out there deal with it.
You would think that I'm the Wicked Witch of the West. I'll run from my house to the car like the rain is going to make me melt. Don't even like the feeling of rain hitting me. I have issues, yes.
Now that I have almost a 20 minute commute to work, I'm already dreading getting behind the wheel and dealing with Dallas drivers. You think they are bad driving on ice....oh you haven't seen anything like this.
My new 20 minute commute took 50 minutes this morning because the roads were wet. *blank stare*
For those interested to see how the progression has been coming along, see the three shots below. The last one is what I FINALLY came up with for the Cross design. Then I sat there and looked at it for over an hour after I got that far. I feel or sense something, rush to put it down, then I'm blank.....
I'm sure something will hit me soon to finish it up now that I'm more then half way done.
Holy Mother of Guadalupe what a weekend! I'm seeing a trend here. Lately, I'm posting on Monday's and starting with some sort of exclamation about the weekend festivities. Saturday morning Brian and I headed to Austin Texas to float down the Guadalupe River with some friends. We ended up going to New Braunfels Water Sport rather then the river since the Guad had flooded due to the rain. It was just as nice and beautiful. Picture something along the lines of Spring Break in South Beach. The boyfriend, great friends, tons of beautiful men, drunkeness, girls flashing their boobies and bank to bank inner tubes barely squeezing down the canal. What more could you ask for, huh? I remember thinking that if I saw one piece of fecal matter in the river, I was OUT of there. I tried not to think about people peeing or getting sick.
We started off the trip with one of the girls throwing some sort of slimy reed looking thing on me. Of course, being the scared little girl that I am, I thought it was a snake and proceeded to scream like one. Everyone likes to laugh at my expense. Good times. It was fun talking with everyone around us, hearing their conversations and watching how straight drunk people act in public. No offense to my straight friends out there. The river was freezing cold despite the fact that it was 95 degrees outside and humid. Having little body fat I basically froze my ass off in the water. One highlight of the float was slowly drifting into a friend of mine who was smoking and gesturing wildly with his cigarette. This wasn't pretty. We finished up the evening with dinner in Gruene Texas at the Gristmill Restaurant and Bar. Amazing place. Food was pretty damn good too. Needless to say, we went back to the hotel and passed completely out.
After having breakfast the next morning Brian and I, along with my roommate, headed back to Dallas. We hung out at Brians pool and had a repeat of Gays of Our Lives poolside. This weekend was more festive then the last time. If that's even possible. I have to say that I'm one tired boy this morning and cramping worse then a woman who's being visited by Aunt Flow.
Must be all the river water, beer, rich food and sex I had this weekend.
I am such a good boyfriend. Why you might ask? It's what I will sit through and endure for the person I'm with and care about. Last night Brian came to my place for dinner, movies and whatever might transpire. He told me he had a movie that he wanted to watch by John Waters called Desperate Living.
The retina's of my eyes have been permanently damaged and might possibly never ever be the same. I'm scarred for life. The vivid, twisted and bizarre dreams have already started and I'm not quite sure they will ever stop. The movie had a psychotic woman, a HUGE black maid, transvestite cop, pimple faced dyke who wants to have a sex change, a horny queen, tons of men in leather and slutty dykes. I saw more boobies and vagina's to last me a lifetime. I've seen enough pee pee's attached to not-so-good-looking people. Don't even get me started on their acting abilities. The random lesbian scenes? Where in the fuck did THEY come from? The lesbian cut off her new penis and killed someone by shooting them up their pooper! What was the point of the men in the nudist colony on pogo sticks?
I know I'm trying to overanalyze this movie, but DAMN!!! I've seen his movies Hairspray, Serial Mom and Cry Baby. I have to ask myself, is this the same director, writer and producer? Was he high on LSD? Let's hope so.
At least the movie didn't end with someone actually eating dogshit.
I suffered through the movie with my mouth gaping open with a look of horror on my face. I watched as my boyfriend laughed his ass off. I worry about him. Maybe I just don't get these types of movies. But as a good wife should, I suffered through it.
We ended the evening with an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants. His favorite cartoon.
This absolutely turned my stomach. The infamous Son of Sam killer, David Berkowitz has his own website along with an online journal called Forgiven For Life. I'm not questioning whether or not God has forgiven him, but I highly doubt that even HE doesn't wants the son of a bitch ever let out of prison. I just have to wonder what the families of all the people he killed think about something like this. His views on homosexuality are enough to make your toes curl.
First things first. A few more questions came trickling in last night. Total of 23 people making that a grand total of 69 questions answered. Nothing like ending with a good ol' 69. My ass is tired. My brain doesn't function. I've been having to think so much lately that my brain hurts. Check out the last few in the previous entry if you like.
Had one of those phonecalls with my mother yesterday. God Bless Her......I love my mother so much, but there are times. This is a paraphrased conversation from yesterday.
Mom: Honey, you should have SEEN the storm we had last night. The hay cart flew right into the windmill and tipped it over!! The poor goat hasn't come out of the barn all day. We even lost a few chickens. God knows where they're at now. Could be in the next county for all we know. Why on earth my husbands crap in the yard stayed where it is, is beyond me.
Mark: Sounds like a really doozy Mom.
Mom: Oh it was! The lightening was orange! Have you ever seen orange lightening?
Mark: Not recently.
Mom: It upset the cows quite a bit. Heard lots of mooing. I don't think they like storms.
Mark: Probably not.
Mom: Well let me tell ya, it's quite a sight. I was up all night praying. Well you know how I am with storms. My husband could sleep through anything, so I woke him up too. I shouldn't have to go through this alone you know!
Mark: No, no you shouldn't Mom.
Mom: OH! By the way, I got a form sent directly to ME from your old college regarding your whereabouts, your job, address, phone number and things like that. Not sure why they are asking only ME.
Mark: They probably just want that info to contact me for donations.
Mom: Well I'm giving it to them anyway. Did I tell you they sent this addressed to ME?
Mark: Yes you did.
Mom: So tell me what you do for a living?
Mark: You're kidding right?
Mom: No.
Mark: Forms Research and Development Specialist.
Mom: That sounds fancy! My baby has a FANCY job!
Mark: It's not. Really Mother, it's not.
Mom: OH, honey you're just being modest. They also want something called an email address. You don't have one of those I assume so I'll leave that blank.
Mark: Excuse me? I have probably 4 different ones!
Mom: Oh my well aren't you just 21 century.
Mark: *blank stare*
Mom: Well what is it?
Mark: M
Mom: N?
Mark: M!!
Mom: N!??
Mark: No, M as in MARK!!!!
Mom: Oh how clever to use your initials like that.
Mark: Yes, quite. So, it's M then my last name.
Mom: Then your last name????
Mark: Yes Mom, my last name.....you remember my last name????
Mom: Don't be a smartass.
Mark: Sorry. Ok, so it's M(last name) then the @ symbol......
Mom: What's an AT symbol?
Mark: You know, the letter "a" with a circle around it?
Mom: Never seen that before.
Mark: Yes you have.
Mom: Oh no I haven't....Oh yes I have......
Mark: So, it's M(last name)@hotmail.......
Mom: Spell that.....
Mark: Like it sounds. M(last name)@hotmail.com
Mom: Do I spell out DOT????
Mark: *silence* It's a "period" mother.
Mom: Be patient with me. I'm not up with all this new fangled stuff. You know how long it took me to learn those new fancy computerlike cashregisters, my cd player and even my microwave. I still don't pump my own gas because it scares me!
Mark: Yes I know, you've come a long way. It's M(last name)@hotmail.com
Mom: CON?
Mark: COM!!
Mom: CON?
Mark: COM!!!!! With an M!
Mom: Oh, COM!???
Mark: COM!!!! Yes!!! Is that all you need?
Mom: Yes thanks honey! Now what do you use these email address for?
Mark: To send letters and stuff through the internet. (didn't want to get too detailed with her at this point)
Mom: Oh I've heard about those! Well, I need to clean house. I love you!!!
Mark: Love you too Mama!
I know sometimes my patience level runs very short at times. I do love her so. Despite having everybody in stitches who was sitting around me here at work during the conversation, she does make me laugh.
Didn't expect this sort of response, nor did I expect the BROAD spectrum of questions ranging from how big my dick is to what my biggest life-lesson. You can find questions that required me to sit here looking at my computer with a big blank look on my face and questions that made me laugh out loud. I've also realized that some of you people are a bunch of perverted horny bitches that need your booty poked. I think I love you all even more.
I'm hoping you're enjoying this as much as I am. It's even given me ideas for future post. I've been feeling like I've been in a dry spell lately. Not having anything profound to say. Nothing thought-provoking. Nothing humorous to make you laugh. Nothing to make your groin tingle. Oh who am I kidding. How often do I do that?
Here's the last few to come in. I'll stop answering when you stop questioning. I have to say the first two caused me to think more then I'm capable of at this time of the morning, but here goes:
From Nunsequitor:
1. Is there a God, and if so how do you understand God? My first loaded question. Yes I believe that there is a God. Not necessarily the same God I was taught growing up Pentecostal, but still a God. I believe now that my God isn't the same as your God or god. I was always taught that he/she was a loving, caring yet stern God. A God we can get angry with and a God that we can question. He/She expects all these emotions from us. Only during the darkest times of my life did I not only question God, but questioned his love and even his existance.
2. When was the last time you wore a skirt or dress? Two years ago for Halloween. I was trying to do Devil in a Blue Dress, but ended up wearing this smart little red number instead. So I became the Devil in Red Dress. Complete with Devil makeup, goatee, horns. I wasn't pretty.
3. What does your heart desire most at this moment, and what are you doing to get it? I've always lived by the phrase, I can handle being alone but I can't handle being lonely. I've always surrounded myself with so many incredible people to fill the void I had in my heart that a special someone could fill. Even though I desired a relationship so much, I found myself pushing people away in fear of getting hurt again. Then I found myself being lonely. I finally opened up my heart to that special someone. I'm doing everything I can to make it work.
From Out There:
1. Is there anyone important to you that you have not told about in your weblog? I've written about my mother, father, close friends, boyfriends and ex's. I would have to say I haven't written much about my brothers and sisters or their children. They mean the world to me and deserve a little more attention here probably.
2. Have you ever regretted posting an entry, and if so, is it still up? There have been a few that I've regretted. I hesitated about posting about HIV, my religious upbringing and the angels. After I wrote those entries and re-reading them a hundred times, I posted them and never looked back.
3. How many people have you met through your weblog and then slept under the same roof? The number of bloggers I've met in person is well over 15, with hopefully many more on the way. As far as meeting them and sleeping under their roof, I would have to say two. I stayed with MAK when I was in NYC and I crashed in Crash's bed one afternoon after a long day of running around. Although we didn't any sleep. Just laid there and continued talking for two hours.
From Watercolorboy:
1. What is the kinkiest sex play you have ever done? Details please. *whew* another one. My first trip to Chicago was during the International Mr. Leather weekend. I walked into the Cellblock and within a few minutes some hot guy in full leather asked me to come back to his hotel with him and be his "Daddy" for the night. So.....for the first time, I went along with the idea and did it. It's waaaay too long of a night to give details.
2. I know you believe in angels. Do you believe in "karma". Why? Any incidents to make you think that way (referring to karma, I knew about the angel part) Oh, I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around. I totally believe that people should be careful how they treat someone else or what actions they take, because it WILL come back to bite you in the ass in some way or another. No real instances that I can think of personally off the top of my head. I just know that in my life and others, I've seen the power of Karma work.
3. What are the four letters you get from doing this test?
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
Do you agree with the results? Why? E S F J and yes I pretty much am Extroverted Sensing Feeling and Judging.
From My Friday to Sunday Life:
I can only think of two questions, which Zenchick once asked me:
1. If you were to meet your 15-years-from-now self, what questions would you ask him? Are you healthy and happy? Did you find true love? Did they find a cure?
2. If you could meet your 15-years-ago self, what would you tell him? To practice safe sex always. Love hurts. Keep all your old clothes because trends always come back.
From Aaron:
Since Friday to Sunday only asked 2 questions, can I ask one more? If so, it is -
Do you have a Texas accent? I've been known to speak with a slight southern good ol' boy twang. Just ever so slightly.
From Who's Your Daddy:
1. What memory, can bring you to tears and fills your heart to overflowing? Be specific. I would have to say my fathers funeral. When we came out of the church, there were police cars, ambulances, firetrucks, state patrol cars and sherrifs cars lined up for blocks to act as the beginning of the motorcade to the graveside service. My father was the Captain of our local Police Department. Every one was standing there at attention saluting us as we got in to our limosines. You could hear a pin drop. I remember having to be practically carried to the limo after seeing that.
2. What is the thing about yourself that you would like everyone to know, but no one has yet to ask? I'm not sure if it's something that I want people to know, but I don't think people realize how insecure I am.
3. When you scrape away all the bravado, laughs and bullshit, what truly is your GREATEST fear? Losing my mother. She's not just my mother, she's my best friend.
From Mrhappysad:
1. If you were to pass away tomorrow, where/what/who do you think you'll 'be'? I don't necessarily believe in the 'streets are paved with gold' type of heaven, but to be in a place where there's no sickness, pain, hurting, sorrow....a place where I'm reunited with family. Each persons "heaven" is different for each individual.
2. Are you content at the moment? If so, do you think you can 'leave' tomorrow with no regrets? I think I'm the most content right now that I've been in ages. I think I would regret if I had to leave tomorrow. I have too much to see, experience and accomplish.
3. Would you die for someone? And you think each individual has the right to end his/her own life? Yes I can honestly say that there are a few people that I would be willing to die for and yes, everyone has the right to end hir or her own life if they honestly feel that this current life isn't worth living.
From Bitchduet:
1. Which of the following do you think is a lesser evil to society ? Drugs or alcohol ? (Or to put it in other words, which of the above 2 would be less of a menace to society if used by the user ?) Definately Alcohol.
2. Is there anything that never fails to get you in a good mood, no matter how bad the mood ? Everyone will laugh at this, but my ABBA albums.
3. Briefs or boxers ? Actually I wear tight boxer briefs.
Here's a set of answers. Anyone else who wants to ask anything, go right ahead.
From Sam:
1. What is your raunchiest fetish/fantasy? Don't really have a raunchy fetish I have to admit. Nothing that I would deem out of the ordinary. Raunchy fantasy? Probably being arrested by a hot police officer and to get out of the speeding ticket, he takes me back to the station house to have the entire late night shift have their way with me. Circle jerk included.
2. If you could look back over the past and take back one item, what would it be and why? Obviously for me, would go back to that specific night I decided to have unprotected sex which drastically changed my life from then on.
3. Name one bad thing you've done out of pure spite. Be honest! *sigh*.....so not proud of this, but 13 years ago, I caught my BF at the time, in bed with another man. Someone he claimed to love and was going to leave me for him. I seduced the same guy a week later and made sure we were caught boinking the same way I caught him. Then I dumped his ass the next day. That was a very long time ago and I've grown up considerably.
From Zenleo:
1. What brings you the most joy in life? I would have to say that my artistic abilities give me the most happiness, freedom, release....
2. What do you most admire in others? Honesty, first and foremost
3. Who are your heros? My Mother and Father. The things that both of them went through growing up, the extent they went to make sure our childhood was one of the best and loving us unconditionally to me is the most commendable thing a parent can do.
From Cheapblueguitar:
1. What do you like best about your life? That I'm healthy and surrounded by so many incredible friends.
2. What do you like least about your life? My job is not what I expected to be doing for the rest of my life. Hopefully it won't be.
3. Art is to Mark as _____ is to _____ . Plastic surgery is to Cher. I can't live without it.
From Aaron:
1. Term of choice: Queer, Gay, Fag, or Homosexual? Friends can call me Fag and the rest of the population can use the other three.
2. Position of choice: Top, Bottom, Middle or Pro? Little bit of everything.
3. Favorite cartoon character as a child? Wyle E. Coyote.
From Frogboy3:
1. what's the biggest life-lesson you've learned since we last met in person? That I've screwed up a lot of my past relationships. I was quick to lay all the blame on the other person and didn't look deep into myself.
2. When was your last epiphany? LIttle over a month ago. Bet you now wonder what that epiphany was don't you? :)
3. What was the sexual position you were in last time you were fucked? (yeah like you are surprised there is a sex question ;) Damn....I was outside, standing up and from behind. KNEW I was going to regret this.
From Archerr:
1. How hung are you? Officially never measured but have been told 7.5 inches.
2. Do you look at your crap after you take a dump? Who doesn't?
3. What's your middle name? Eric
From Bald Sarcasm:
(In his ever-so-cryptic ways)
1. what? uh, makes me cry? any type of girly movie and hallmark commercials
2. who? uh, makes me happy? Brian
3. why? uh, did I let people ask me all these question? God only knows. Just to let you get to know me just a tad bit more.
From Obliquity:
1. Which artists inspire you? Being a person to has drawn portaits and the human figure ever since I could remember, I would have to say Michelangelo. Regarding Glassblowing? I would have to say Dale Chihuly.
2. What one thing would people be surprised to know about you? Can't remember if I told this here or not, but I was the head pianist of our good ol' fashioned gospel church starting at the age of 12 until I was 25.
3. What do you consider the sexiest part of a man's body? *sigh*....a mans armpit.
From Homer:
Hmmm, MatchGame '04
1). Black ______ Magic
2). Big ______ Dick
3). Back ______ Massage
From Everlasting Blogstalker:
1. Do you think I'm neurotic? Hmm, don't know you well enough yet, but starting to say yes. :)
2. Do I look fat in this? Oh no, not at all.
3. Are you gonna finish that? Probably not. Hardly ever finish a plate of food. You were talking about food, right?
From The High Priestess:
1. Do you rely on first impressions? Completely. But try not to judge a person based on those first impressions.
2. Do you give second chances? I usually try to give a person a 2nd chance depending on the situation. Sometimes it's almost impossible.
3. Do you know instantly if you're going to call someone your friend? Kind of goes back to your first question. I can usually tell right away when I've made a friend.
From Palochi:
1. Who are you? I'm still trying to answer that question myself.
2. What do you want? Just to be happy.
3. Where are you going? To the bathroom. I'll be right back. Naw, as long as a person is moving forward, it's all that matters.
From Gatsby's Ghost:
1. If not here, where? Anywhere within walking distance of an ocean.
2. What would you be doing if money and geography and ability were no obstacle? I would have my own glass studio, blow glass every day and have the front be a gallery.
3. Favorite position? (Take that however you prefer.) Honestly, any position that doesn't cause a cramp.
From The Traveling Spotlight:
1. Why do you blog? A place to vent, remember my past and make friends.
2. What is your greatest fear? I'm going to have to mention the fear of a "thing". I'm absolutely terrified of clowns.
3. What is the worst thing you have done for money? I tricked with someone once that I met at a bar back in college and afterwards he threw me $100. I was dumbfounded. He was almost out the door while I was still standing there with my mouth gaping open. I asked him what it was for and he said, "Well, thats what you charge for your services isn't it?" I was broke, so I just said, "Yes."
From Crash and Byrne:
1. If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be? I wouldn't mind sitting down with President Kennedy. Other then that I'm totally blank.
2. If you could be any literary character, who would it be? Ugh, you'll all hate me for this.....The Vampire Lestat. Forever young and beautiful and all the men I want.
3. What character on Star Trek are you most like? (Did any of them do the whirlybird trick?) I would love to say Commander Tucker from Enterprise. Funny sense of humor and quite the ladies man. Wait.....
From Mezzanine:
1. Where do you hope to be in life in 10 years? Happy, content, healthy and with a good job. Hopefully someone still by my side sharing it all with me.
2. What did you think of me after meeting 'for real' in NYC? Thought you were very sweet and a lot of fun to run around NYC with. The drunker you got, the more interesting you became. :)
3. Do you think bloggers you meet can be lifelong friends? I believe many of them can be longterm friends and already are.
I'm brutally honest. I always have been. I'm the type of person to whom people come to for advice or my opinion about something. I will forewarn someone when they ask me for my opinion. Don't ask if you don't want me to truthfully answer. Be prepared for what comes spewing forth from my mouth. This can be helpful or a hindrance, depending on the situation. Sometimes I view this as a curse. I'm an open book. I don't really hide much about my life. Yes, there are a few things I will keep bottled up inside, but for the most part, it's all out there for the world to see.
A while back, bloggers were offering people to ask 3 questions and then post the answers. Being the nonconformist that I am *ahem*, I held off jumping on the bandwagon at that time. Well, fuck that way of thinking, so here goes.
Ask me 3 questions of your choice. I will answer all questions truthfully. I will continue to post answers starting tomorrow until questions stop coming in. If I do not get any questions, I will assume that I've been way to friggen open here and you all know everything about me already.
Leave all questions as comments.
*sigh*.......I'm so going to regret this.
My next door neighbor of the gayplex invited me out for drinks Saturday night. I should know how the evening is going to progress when I start off by drinking Martini's. All 5 of us were drinking them. I know we were bad when a few of the bars employees mentioned to us Sunday afternoon that we were highly entertaining. Whatever that meant. Zenchick would have probably referred to me as a Muppet on Crack, but I wasn't that bad. I remember at one point of being asked to go dirty dance with some guys girlfriend. Oh and did we ever. Did I mention they don't have a dance floor at Mickey's? They asked me to go to Throckmornton Mining Company to dance the night away, but I ever so graciously declined. I had to get my drink on. Soon after we were in a Karaoke bar with me trying to find a song to sing. Due to the fact that I couldn't focus caused me to give up. This was a good thing.
Drinking, dancing and singing. What more could you ask for? Stippers. Yes, we decided to head out next to the local "See a twink shake his 11 inch pee pee in your face" bar. Where do they grow these kids? One of the older, more butch strippers comes up to our table and shakes my hand (God only knows where it's been) and nonchalantly lays his dick on the table as we speak. Talk about a conversation starter. No wonder my dreams were bizarre and vivid that night.
Sunday, Brian came back home from his family reunion. We (removed to maintain PG13 rating) and then we (removed to maintain PG13 rating) and finished the afternoon by (removed to maintain PG13 rating). Good times. After dinner and a few cocktails with friends, we headed over to The Round-Up Saloon for The Switch Hitters Ball. It's the night all the teams from the Gay Softball League put on mini-musical skits. Another chance for these boys to do drag. The only highlight in the middle of eyeburning drag, was the Round Up team who had nothing but all these men who looked like they had been carved out of creamcheese dancing half naked while they threw a drag queen into the mix. I'm sure they won. Half naked, buff, beautiful men always gets the crowd going.
Then.......we went home and passed out.
Boy it was tough leaving him snoozing away this morning.
Last night was a busy evening. I practically flew straight from work to meet Brian at the theater to see the movie Chronicles of Riddick. I could see that man on screen reading the local phonebook for all I care. It's a special effects extravaganza and a pretty good story to boot. He's not going to win any awards for his performance, but let's get this straight.....he's eyecandy.
Afterwards, we met up with his friends in the Knox/Henderson area for Sushi. I've tried a few forms of sushi from time to time. I still wasn't daring enough to have it as an entire meal yet. I ordered something else. After Mr. Persistent kept trying to shove it down my throat (The fish! Get your minds out of the gutter) I ended up trying Sushi, Tempura and Sashimi. Sashimi tasted like a fish flavored gummi bear. That shit was nasty. I'm just not a fan of raw fish. I like mine cooked and not wrapped in that horribly tasting seaweed crap. Our waitress seemed personally hurt after I told her it sucked.
We decided to see another late movie with his friend we call Mama. Go see the movie Saved! It's highly sacreligious and irreverent. It was fantastic. Even Macauley Caulkin did a good job.
I'm heading out this afternoon to see The Stepford Wives with a friend of mine. I have to say that I'm getting a tad tired of living inside a movie theater the past few days. They need some sort of frequent visitor card.
I would have won a toaster by now.
Nothing like the power and beauty of a thunderstorm. These pics were taken during one of our many storms we've had the past week. Thought you might enjoy.
Spent the morning looking around our new building that is almost completed in North Dallas. Currently I work about 5 minutes away from my job. I've never lived further then 7 minutes away. Now my drive is going to average 20 minutes. Now that gas prices are soaring and I drive an SUV, you can understand how thrilled I am. The building is beautiful and in a great area. There are 60-70 restaurants, shopping mall and super Walmart and Target. Not to mention that a Starbucks is only a few blocks from the office. I guess I'll make the best of it.
Brians contract job ended a bit early, so he and I will have even more time to spend together this weekend. Hopefully we won't get on each others nerves and pull each others hair out. Well which would be difficult anyhow since we're both bald. Good Lord willin', creek don't rise, we'll be enjoying our time lounging by the pool sipping froo froo drinks all weekend.
Now that I've bored you to tears with this post, I hope you all have a great weekend and stay out of trouble.
hugs and sloppy kisses
I received an email this morning from my old boss Bryan. He was my manager when I was working at the mortgage company in Kansas City. We always got along like best friends. We were the same age. We went out for drinks at times, hung out together and spent numerous hours just talking.
He was one of the first few people I told back in '92 that I was positive. He gave me a big hug that day and started to cry. He went over to close the door and asked me to sit down. I panicked for a moment not knowing what was going to happen. He sits down across from me and told me he had just found out a few days before that he had testicular cancer. We sat in his office talking about our fears, the future, our options, about telling our family and basically just sitting there bawling our eyes out. I guess you can say it was our bonding moment.
I remember everyone asking me at one point if he was gay. He never dated or even talked about girls. He had tons of pictures of his dog and his nephew on his desk. He always had perfect hair done up with way to much hair product. He had impeccable taste in clothes. Dead giveaways, no? I had my suspicions about him from day one, but always told them to ask him themselves. I tried to respect his wishes to be in the closet if that were the case.
Two years ago, I got an extremely long letter from him telling me that he finally came out of the closet at the age of 40. He talked about how during the years I worked for him that he was envious of me. He wanted my life. He loved how I was so open, comfortable and didn't care what people thought about me. He saw how I dealt with HIV and handled it with ease (was he kidding?). He referred to me as the homosexual poster child. I had to laugh. I was miserable during that time. Uncomfortable in my own skin. Dealing with the repercussions of having HIV. The meds. The rejection. The discrimination. My life was far from perfect. Yet he saw things differently. I guess we have to be careful and remember that people are watching us. Looking up to us. Envying us.
I lived my life with a devil-may-care attitude. Inside I was tore up like you wouldn't believe, but on the outside I guess I held things together.
I responded to his email saying that I had kind of known since '92. I told him that I was so happy for him that he made the big plunge and came out. It wasn't long before he was in Dallas for work and wanted to spend some time together. It was surreal hanging out with him while he talked about this guy and that guy. Even more surreal when he got a little handsy after 6-7 cocktails and told me I was cute. No, nothing happened. My training wheels came off long ago.
I could see the change in him just from todays email. He sounded happy. Comfortable. Excited. Passionate. Everything is new to him. New sights, sounds, feelings and emotions.
I wouldn't go through all that again if someone paid me.
I do have to say that I was.......just a tad envious.
Good luck Boss.
After reading this wonderful girls post about petnames a few days ago, I've been thinking a lot about pet names, how they evolve, what I was called and what I called other people. She spoke of her father which always just tugs at my heartstrings and made me remember what he and my mother called me.
I swear my parents didn't know my real name growing up. I fondly remember my mother using many terms of endearment such as honey, sweetie, darlin' and baby. I even remember my fathers terms of endearment such as dumbass and lil' shithead. He just said those things to be funny I know, but I swear to you I thought those names were something nice and sweet up until I was about 6 years old. Until I ever so lovingly called my brother a shithead then got my very first spanking, then I knew. I remember telling Mama that Daddy called me that all the time. Mother and Father had a nice heart to heart talk calling each other the same sweet petnames. You could feel the love in the air.
My mother, being the good upstanding Christian woman that she is, rarely called someone a bad word. If she ever did, it was so damn cute. She would lean over and say, "Your father is being such *drastically lowers voice* a bastard." I swear she would have a come to Jesus meeting right then and there to ask for forgiveness. Other then those "bad times", they too called each other honey and sweetie.
It wasn't until my father became terminal did he start calling me Punkin (not PUMPKIN, but punkin). I'm not sure why or where it came from, but I was referred to that for the last few years he was alive. It's a special thing for me if I refer to someone as Punkin until this day.
Living in Texas hasn't helped me when it comes to petnames. Honey, Darlin', Sweetie and Baby just roll right off my tongue without me thinking. It can be embarrassing at times. Like when you say "Thanks honey!" to your Information Technologies guy after he finishes fixing your piece-o-shit computer. I felt like crawling under my desk and hiding. You should have seen the look on his face. It wasn't 10 minutes after he left when the VP of the IT department came over to my desk laughing his ass off at what I had done.
It just slips out!!!
Then there are my friends and blogger friends. Even my buddy Spyke is called Ploo Ploo. After hearing the story of how his husbear started calling him that, I HAD to start calling him that also. Due to my perkiness and giggling, he now calls me gigglebutt.
When I was staying with MAK, it was adorable to hear him call his boyfriend K, Poo. I'm sure it has nothing to do with flatulence. At this point, Brian can call me anything he wants and I would probably become a mushy little girl.
So to all my little qumquats out there, any bizarre petnames a boyfriend or girlfriend use to call you?
Day One: 2 hours
20" X 26", graphite on Arches
I finally got up off my lazy ass and started getting some work done. My drawings tend to change or evolve over the course of time. A first days sketch might be drastically different two or three sittings later. I view the image upside down. I look at the reflection of the drawing in a mirror. I'll sit and stare at the image for an hour or more. Sometimes I'll put it away for a few days, out of eyesight, then bring it back out for a fresh look. I've always been the type of artist to have a very clear idea, image, emotion or thought I'm trying to portray on a piece of paper. Sometimes those ideas take on new meaning or direction. Once a humorous piece can turn into something very emotional. I thought I would try to show myself and for those interested the progression of my latest drawing over the course of the next couple weeks.
The drawing revolves around many theories, ideas or thoughts: The burden of religion and spirituality. Wearing ones religion for everyone to see. Having it follow you around for the rest of your life, scarring you, changing you, haunting you. How religion labels, infects, imbeds and interferes. How religion and spirituality raises questions, concerns, hopes, dreams and even fear.
These theories or ideas will obviously evolve along with the actual drawing itself. Hell, by the time I'm finished, the sketch might have something to do with my love of Yogurt. Who knows.
After getting up yesterday before Jesus does, Brian and I enjoyed breakfast on the patio at Cafe' Brazil and then a long walk on the Katy Trail. Around 11:30, he had to head off to work. Have I mentioned that I despise the person who does his scheduling? I decided to stick around and enjoy an afternoon by the pool of one of the gayest apartment complexes in North Texas. I learned a lot while trying to obtain the most amount of skin cancer humanly possible in one afternoon. I really should post pictures of how dark I am. Thinking of changing my race to American Indian.
Proper etiquette and requirements of hanging out at an all gay pool:
1. Numerous tattoos and body piercings must be acquired prior to entering the pool.
2. Alcohol in any form or fashion is a must. Koozies adorned with fur and jewels or drinks served in martini glasses with little umbrellas earn bonus points.
3. Blaring dance music, preferably by Cher and Kylie Minogue must be played at earpiercing levels.
4. At least one man visiting the pool must have a crotch of death. Big enough to knock over peoples drinks.
5. All gay men must stare intently at #4’s crotch until they go blind.
6. One group of twinks all must reside on the same side of the pool and not mingle with anyone over the age of 21.
7. Old man with a dye job that you can spot 20 paces away, must provide twinks with all the alcohol and food they can consume.
8. Old man and twinks must visit his apartment every 20 minutes for…well, whatever. I try not to think about it.
9. The boyfriend you absolutely adore must call and check on you periodically to make sure you haven't completely fried yourself.
10. Gay boys must eventually butch up the afternoon with a rousing game of water volleyball.
11. All baseball caps and J-Lo Sunglasses must not be removed from ones body during the course of the game to remain fashionably correct.
12. All men involved in "said volleyball game" must use the words Gurl and Beotch as much as possible, trying to hold a cigarette and Bud Light while playing the game.
13. High pitched girly screams are encouraged during a game of water volleyball.
14. Two boys must be making out in a secluded corner of the pool at all times.
15. Any foreign, slimy, white substances must be ignored and just brushed aside. Try not to make direct contact.
Damn, I enjoy watching my peeps.
Note to self: Next time buy a swimsuit that enhances package rather then buying a swimsuit that acts as a girdle....holding everything in.
You think I would have remembered the camera during last nights festivities. Unfortunately, my friends D and B had to spend the afternoon in the emergency room due to one of them having kidney stones. Bless his heart. Hopefully he's peeing gravel today and getting rid of his little friends. Another friend, who shall remain anonymous, just didn't show up. *ahem*
Dinner for the five of us turned out pretty good. Everyone was stuffed ready to retire to bed a few hours afterwards due to being so tired. Not Brian and I. We headed down to The Hideaway (a local Piano Bar) to meet some friends of his, listen to music and have a few cocktails. Those Black Martini's kicked my butt. Now I owe him big time.....they weren't cheap.
*****
Since I worship the quicksand this person walks on, plus the fact that I have no idea what to bore you with, I thought I'd bore you with this list:
10 Bands You've Seen Live:
1. Janet Jackson (4 times)
2. Depeche Mode (we found 10 tickets laying in the gutter)
3. Elton John (not joking when I say we got the tickets from two guys in the mafia while living in Kansas City)
4. Erasure (gayest concert EVER)
5. Sarah Maclachlan
6. Thompson Twins (The Reflex and The Romantics opened for them)
7. Cher
8. Nine Inch Nails
9. Machines of Loving Grace
10. Berlin
(hmmm, seems I saw more concerts in the 80's and early 90's)
9 Things You're Looking Forward To:
1. Living long enough to become an annoyance to my friends and family
2. The next GB:NY or whatever city we do it in
3. Getting to know Brian more and more (Stop rolling your eyes)
4. Drawing
5. Making more friends
6. Indian food
7. Sale at the Kenneth Cole store
8. Buying a piano
9. Buying new living room furniture
8 Things You Wear Daily:
1. Underwear (Unless on a date with Brian, aka Mr. Commando)
2. Cologne
3. Deodorant
4. Belt
5. Shoes/socks
6. Glasses
7. Pants
8. Shirt (What a boring list!)
7 Things That Annoy You
1. TV Channel flippers
2. George W. Bush
3. Women who put on makeup while driving to work
4. People who haven't gotten the knack of using the self check out counters in grocery stores.
5. IT guys who tell you to "reboot" your computer when you have a problem that comes up
6. Guys who don't wash their hands before leaving the bathroom here at work
7. People who are always late
6 Things You Touch Every Day
1. My pee pee
2. Cup of coffee
3. keyboard
4. Toothbrush
5. Car
6. Food
5 Things You Do Every Day
1. Eat (Only because I have to sustain life)
2. Masturbate (hey we have to be honest here, right?)
3. Sing at the top of my lungs while driving
4. Take medication
5. Sleep
4 Of Your Favorite Bands or Musicians
1. Seven and the Sun
2. George Michael (been a fanclub member since 1983)
3. Madonna (Again, have to be totally honest here)
4. Jann Arden (totally underrated as a singer/songwriter)
(why wasn't this question used for the top 10?)
3 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. Steel Magnolias
2. Bring it On
3. Sordid Lives
2 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment
1. Toxic by Britney (Ok, just SHOOT me)
2. Amazing by George Michael
1 Person You Could Spend The Rest of Your Life With
1. *sigh*.....don't make me say it.
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
I'm planning on cooking a good ol' country meal tonight for Brian and a few friends. It started off as a romantic candlelit dinner for just he and I. One thing lead to another and now it's up to 7 people. Every time I plan these things I get all excited until the day I have to cook. Then I get all nervous and shit once the day arrives. Performance anxiety.
I plan on whipping up Chicken Fried Chicken, cream gravy, garlic/rosemary/buttermilk mashed potatoes, roasted grape tomatoes in balsamic vinegar/olive oil and fresh basil, cornbread and of course, southern sweet iced tea. Thinking about making a peach cobbler and vanilla bean icecream for dessert. I might be over my head trying to accomplish the last one. Maybe we'll just have a liquid dessert......such as beer and alcohol. Hmmm, full stomach and alcohol. I'm a shew in to get laid.
If I can't win over his heart with this meal then I'm screwed. No wonder most of the guys I date tend to gain 20 pounds. I'll just have to think of ways to work off all the excess food. Maybe I could learn to eat and cook more healthy. *shudders* Come to think of it, most guys I break up with gain 20 pounds too. What does this say about me?
Last night was another doozy. Check out the storm system that was headed straight for us. It was another night of high winds, tornado's and rain. Of course, the power was out for most of the night again too. The second round of storms hit us again around midnight. From what I hear, we get a repeat tonight. If that happens, Brian and I might be getting that romantic candlelit dinner like I thought. Nothing like cooking by braille.
If you don't hear from me within the next few days, it's because I'm out back building an ark and collecting two of every animal. Does Homodepot carry Gopher Wood?
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming in to work today."
Mother Nature was definitely on the rag last night and being a complete bitch. As the roomie and I were watching The Miss Universe Pageant, being critical of all their flaws and wondering why in the HELL they wore that dress, the show was interrupted numerous times warning us of impending doom. It seems a huge storm cell was right on the edge of downtown Ft. Worth. The storm carried 80mph winds and baseball size hail. Five minutes later, right when Miss Venezuela sashayed across in something that resembled a hookers costume, they stated that a Tornado had been spotted right next to downtown. Brian was down there and of course I immediately panicked and called him. He said it looked like a hurricane out the windows of the highrise he was in. Windows were moving in and out. Winds were horrible and debris was flying everywhere. They had to evacuate and head downstairs. Makes you wonder why they would send then down to an all glass lobby but maybe that's just me. My lil' Brian played Mr. Disaster Man and got them all to safety.
I had just hung up the phone with him breathing heavily (have to say that it kind of got me aroused) due to all the running around, when the storm hit us in Dallas. Holy CRAP! I've seen some major storms growing up in Nebraska. This scared the livin' shit out of me. It wasn't long before power went out and the gayplex mates poured themselves a cocktail and waited out the storm. I'm surprised we didn't head down to the bar. The last time Ft. Worth was getting hit by a tornado, we went down to Moby's to watch. Sick bastards that we are.
Living in a basement one or two nights a week during the summer was a normal thing growing up. Finding parts of your roof gone, your car found blocks away from the house, a corn silo in the middle of your yard (we lived IN the city, btw), trains overturned or small farming communities completely destroyed was a part of life. You just cleaned up afterwards, rebuilt and moved on. Everyone had blankets, pillows, bottled water, canned goods, flash lights and radios stored in every basement. I was always the kid that was on the back porch watching the tornado as it approached and would run downstairs at the last minute while my mother was begging me to come downstairs. I had dreams of becoming a storm chaser when I was young. I had seen dozens of tornados and the aftermath they would leave and it fascinated me. The older I got, the longer I would wait until I finally had to find shelter.
Last night was like reliving my childhood.
This time there was a man in my bed to enjoy the sights and sounds of the thunderstorm as we fell asleep.
Is anyone else a statistics whore? I write this blog for my amusement. Something to occupy my time. A form of therapy. A way to avoid doing work from 8 to 5, Monday thru Friday. An alternative to porn. Wait, IS there an alternative to porn? It progressed into more then that over the past few months. I've made numerous friends, visited a new city and attended a blogger event.
Despite all that, I constantly check my sitemeter. I like seeing those numbers rise. My goal when I first started blogging was to hit 20K in total visits. I did that today. I know my daily average like the back of my hand. *damn never saw that mole on my index finger before* High visits from Monday through Thursday. Friday drops a little. Saturday and Sunday are usually cut in half. A few weeks ago, sitemeter was acting all screwy. The average 175 visits a day dropped to 15. It put my panties all in a wad. I was emailing sitemeter as fast as I could type, telling them to fix the problem immediately. I felt like Whitney in rehab.
Most of my enjoyment comes from seeing who's visited. Finding new readers and checking out their blogs. Seeing what crazy google searches directed them to my site. "Big Titties" being the last one. *blank stare*
Then you have people like Corin. He put my link in an entry a few weeks back. My hits quadrupled for the next week. Made me sit and salivate over the number of hits he must receive a day. I had sitemeter envy in the worst way. Well, if you've seen certain areas of his site, there's even more things to be envious about.
Don't get me started on the number of comments. I came across Xavier's site a month ago. Check out the number of comments. It's insane! 56? 117? 225????!!!! Now I have comment envy.
I guess I could just take my sitemeter off and not think about it. But no....I'm going to sit here and cuddle my little "sitemeter pipe" and take a big hit. I'm addicted. I'll admit it!
It's not that I need validation from anyone. This blog is for me and y'all are just along for the crazy ride. Either people visit and comment or they don't. It doesn't matter to me....
*taps toes*
*starts to sweat*
*bites nails*
Ah DAMMIT! Off to check my sitemeter!
I've added quite a number of new links lately. Check these out: ZenLeo, Papito1, Linkology, Obliquity, Orphic Mysteries Abound and CWill's Pen just to name a few.
