Ok. Five things that should be too embarrassing to tell or things you might not know about me.
1. After a lot of convincing from my boyfriend at the time, I dressed up in leather pants, leather harness, arm bands and leather baseball cap and went out with him to the Dixie Bell in Kansas City. I got hit on more in leather drag then any other time going out. Leather just gets hot and sticky.
2. I once posed nude for our Life Drawing class back in college when our male model couldn't make it that morning. I started a trend. The upper class art students started posing for each other, rather then pay a model $20 an hour. By the way, I'm currently looking for models.
3. I was once shoved in my gym locker in highschool when I was a freshman, only to rescued by the hottest senior I had ever seen. He felt bad. I still fantasize about him.
4. I can't stand eating any form of meat off a bone. He understands how I feel.
5. I'm absolutely, positively, undeniably terrified of horses.
Thank God that's over with. Wednesday night started out with all of us becoming completely inebriated. I think we tried to watch Finding Nemo at some point. I was getting a little seasick watching it and had to stop. That plus I couldn't concentrate on one thing to save my life. Friend of ours brought his Great Dane with him. You should have seen the look in my Chihuahua's face when he saw her. Classic.
I think I was in bed by 10pm.
Thursday we were up cooking breakfast and starting in on the Mimosa's. The sound of alcohol at 9am wasn't settling well with my stomach. After cooking all afternoon, we finally sat down to dinner at 6:05pm. I think our final total was 17 people not including baby Lexi. Damn can we put out a spread. We have enough food to get us through the weekend. I have to say it was one of the best Thanksgiving dinners we've put together. We just couldn't wait for everyone to leave so we could get to bed.
I wish there were juicy stories and incriminating photo's, but alas there are none. At least that I can remember. Wednesday night is still kind of hazy. I'll post a few pictures within the next few days. We did find my Chihuahua on the dining room table later on, with his face in a glass of red wine. Later on he obviously needed to soak up all that wine because within 15 minutes we caught him with his head in the basket of rolls. I think he was just getting primed to hit on that Great Dane.
Since I'm one of the lucky people who got to go to work today, I had best be getting back to work.
Later Taters
After an evening of finishing up cleaning the entire house, doing laundry, eating dinner which REDACT prepared and ending the evening by watching Queer Eye, we are finally ready for our slumber party tonight and Thanksgiving Day Dinner tomorrow.
I love the actual days of our little event, but sure as hell hate preparing for it. After seeing the QE guys having the party for their straight man catered, made me wish the same thing could be done to ours. Nothing like sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand, watching someone else do all the work. Although, I'm sure our pocketbooks would be complaining.
I've had several people comment about our "slumber party". They hear about 12 close friends getting together for a night of movies, junk food, drinking and finally crashing, turning into some mass orgy or something. These guys are my "sisters" if you will. I couldn't fuck them with someone else's dick. I love them to death, but just couldn't go down that road. Don't get me wrong, if it were a group of 12 handsome men that I wasn't that familiar with, I sure as hell wouldn't be running away from the house screaming. I'm sure I'd find some way to deal with the situation if something......came up unexpectedly.
[Update: ALL, and I mean ALL of my friends are the most handsome, gorgeous, pretty, beautiful men you could EVER meet in our life.....better?]
I hope you all have an incredible Thanksgiving Day tomorrow with friends and/or family. I'm sure ours will be festive and I'll be coming back with many stories to tell. Hopefully I'll have some incriminating pictures to go along with them. There's never a dull moment with this group.
I suppose its my turn to sit down before Thanksgiving Holiday and tell you what I'm thankful for in my life. Redact has done this so eloquently today, that I urge you to take a moment out of your busy schedule and read his entry. I've never been a person that can express myself well with fancy words or phrases. I'm not a person that can philosophically tell you the inner workings of my heart and how I feel. I just sit down as you were sitting across the table from me and start typing. Redact did it better then I possibly could, regarding the issue of where we've came from, where we are and how far we have to go.
Here are a few reasons why I can say I am Thankful.....
1. First and foremost is my family. We are a tight knit group of nuts that love and enjoy each others company. The type of family that would do anything for any member within their means.
2. I'm thankful for my health. After being positive for 10 years, I've dealt with medication problems, such as weight loss, kidney and liver damage, plus a host of other side effects. I'm thankful that if I had to get this disease, that I got it during an era of progress and amazing medical advancements. I'm thankful that I've had numerous opportunities to help people over the years dealing with their own personal demons with HIV.
3. I'm thankful for the wonderful group of friends that I can honestly sit here and call my extended family. A group of guys that will be and have been there for me on too many occasions to mention.
4. I'm thankful for my artistic talents that give me an outlet when things get too much to deal with, and I need to be creative and shut the rest of the world out.
5. I'm thankful for a job that pays the bills, insurance that keeps me alive and a roof over my head.
There are a host of other people out there that go through many more things then I could ever imagine. We saw someone recently that we all know walking the streets of Dallas, homeless. Due to a problem with drugs, she no longer even knows who and where she is, let alone who we are. Its times like that, when I realize I need to stop complaining and just be thankful.
Also makes me realize that I don't do enough for people who are less fortunate then I am.
I'm thankful I have the capability to change.....
Weekend is over. Back to mundane Monday.
I went out with friends some this weekend. Ask Redact about how much he loves jello shots mixed with a late night trip to Jack in the Box.
I have to give you all a warning about a movie T. and I saw Friday night. We decided to check out The Cat in the Hat. Now, I'm someone who can sit through a tolerable movie to see the props, set design, costumes, special effects, etc. This movie was so horrible painful, that I wanted to leave. I heard a review earlier that morning that I should have listend to. The reviewer stated, "It was like sitting for an hour an a half, having a psycho clown screaming in your face, beating you in the head with a baseball bat". I thought this review was kind of harsh until 15 minutes into the movie. Mike Myers was probably the biggest reason that it sucked. If you want to sit and watch him in a cat suit and do every character from his movies and SNL, and do it poorly, then be my guest. The storyline was cute and the sets were amazing. Thats the only good thing I will say about this abomination thats being shown at your local movie theater. It's not even worth renting when it comes out on DVD. End rant.
God forbid that I should become an actual movie critic.
Secondly, Are any of you out there big Anne Rice fans? I'm probably one of her biggest. I'm currently reading her last novel of the Vampire Chronicles that she will ever write. So she says. It's called Blood Canticle. She's neatly tiddying up her Witching Hour series and her Vampire Chronicles in one little book. Right there, thats annoying me to no end. Let's just take 20 of her books and end them all in one 400 page novel. Bringing the Witch and Vampire worlds was a great idea, I'll give her that. But one book? Plus, the voice of the Vampire Lestat has all the sudden become......very 21st century. It's just odd to hear a character that you've read throughout the last 15 years, use the words "cool, dude, babe, wassup", etc. I cringe everytime he opens up his mouth to speak. I'll continue my review once I'm finished.
God forbid that I should ever become an actual book critic.
Last night my roommate and I hung out with T and J at their apartment. We decided after numerous cocktails to head down to The Strip. As we were walking to the ATM, we passed a drag queen (nothing more then a man in a dress and wig) on the sidewalk, playing his/her guitar for tips. Strangest thing to see when you're three sheets to the wind.
Seems so many people do The Friday Five every week. I thought I'd take a slightly different twist on that theme. Basically tell you five different things about myself that I probably should be embarrassed to tell or things you might be surprised to find out about myself. Trust me, I have enough to continue this for months.
1. I started taking piano lessons when I was three years old until I was 25. In the early years I was sort of taught to play by ear. When I turned 12, I became the lead church pianist at the large pentecostal church I attended. I played for three services a week.
2. I once dressed up in drag for work back in Kansas City during Halloween. I'm so hairy, bad with fixing hair and horrible with makeup, that I decided to wear a hug fluffy robe, high heal slippers with the feathers on them and my hair up in a big towel. I was NOT pretty. I looked like Patrick Swayze from Too Wong Foo...on a bad day.
3. I was voted Most Drastically Changed at my 20 year Highschool Reunion.
4. I was caught having sex in the middle of the Kansas University Football Stadium at 2am, right on top of the Jayhawk. Police were slightly amused despite the fact it was two guys. Maybe I should have asked them to join in.
5. I'm absolutely, positively, most undeniably TERRIFIED of clowns.
My mother called me today. Which isn't anything unusual, since we talk probably 3 times a week. I did tell you I'm a mamma's boy right? Anyway, she called me specifically to tell me a joke. If ya'll are from or live in Texas, you'll appreciate this:
A lady from the northeast was down in Texas visiting relatives during the holidays. As she was driving to lunch, she passed a Nativity scene set up at a local park. She noticed that the Three Wisemen all had on Firemen hats.
This was quite odd she thought. "I don't remember firemen at the birth of Christ, being mentioned in the Bible?"
She pulled up to a local diner. She asked the lady behind the counter about the odd Nativity scene as she sat down at the counter.
"Excuse, me. I just saw your Nativity scene around the corner, but I have to say I don't remember there ever being any Firemen mentioned in the Bible."
"All you damn Yankees are alike!", she exclaimed. "Of course there were Firemen at Jesus' birth!"
She grabs here Bible under the counter, starts fervently flipping through the pages and plants her finger on a passage as she shoves it toward the woman.
"Ya'll see righ' there?", she said in a thick southern drawl.
"....and there came Three Wisemen from a far!"
Ran to the grocery store last night with B. to pick up things needed for our Thanksgiving Day Extravaganza. I swear this event becomes more of a chore every year it seems, but it's something we really enjoy doing. I think the number of guest have reached the mid-twenties. I think at this point, we should all just go to Luby's for dinner.
Reminds me of a story.
I lived in Kansas City prior to Dallas. I was close enough, that I could go home to Nebraska for Thanksgiving every year. My first year in Dallas was a rough one. I really didn't have any close friends. They were quite difficult to make in this city. Since Thanksgiving is so close to Christmas, I couldn't quite afford to go home for both holidays. So I decided to stick it out in Dallas that year. Thanksgiving Day, I wake up in my apartment alone. My roommate was away spending the day with his flavor of the month. It was getting close to lunch time, so I headed down to Luby's to have a traditional dinner. I sat there with every other person who had no friends, along with every person over the age of 65 that lived in the area. Luby's was known for its Senior Citizen friendly food. Pathetic was the only word to describe this lot. I immediately called my mommy while I was eating. Hearing my family in the background all talking at once sent me into a bawling fit in the middle of the restaurant. Luckily I was in the corner with my back to the crowd facing the street. Needless to say, I was a little homesick.
Back to reality. While at the grocery store last night, I picked up my favorite fruit, a pomegranate. That thing is just a little bundle of pure heaven wrapped up tightly in a leathery skin. (avoiding any sexual remarks to that last sentence)
You were right, Houston does have worse traffic then ours and the air smells like ass. I've been down there a few times, but I've never paid attention. Thanks for pointing that out. I know officially can't stand Houston. Fifty miles from downtown, the traffic was at a standstill. Fifty miles. Not 5-10 miles, but 50!!!
I went in for my quarterly checkup on Monday. I was happy and surprised to hear that my tcells were up to 1050. That's the highest its ever been in the last 10 years. My viral load was still undetectable. I'm a lucky and happy man....and amazed at the same time.
Only one thing that kind of shocked the hell out of me. The doctor was horrified concerned that my Triglyceride level was 1025. Normal levels are less than 150 and dangerously high is anything over 500. Did I mention it was 1025? After reviewing the last 2 test, my levels were at least above 500 for the past year. Thanks for noticing Doc. I'm now at risk for a heart attack and/or stroke I was told. I shouldn't at all be shocked though. Heart disease runs rampid in my family. Guess its just my turn to start dealing with this shit. So, within the next couple weeks, I'll have a lipids test to see where I'm at and probably start on some medication, watch my diet and double up on my yoga exercise.
I'll be so healthy that my body will go into shock. Maybe one of these days I can look like him.
And if you believe that.....
I'm steadily growing to hate Mondays more and more. This day increasingly becomes more intolerable each week. Then again, Tuesday and Wednesday aren't that great either. I either need more sleep or coffee. One of the two.
I hope you all check out Laura's Blog located on the right hand column. I'm sure she's getting a lot of hits today. That fiasco added to my Monday Morning Blues. Seems the problem is fixed, so nevermind.
I'm heading out tomorrow for Houston to perform a corporate audit on one of our Retail Branches. My previous position here was as a Corporate Compliance Auditor. Seems the Legal/Compliance Department got into a little trouble once an independent auditor found out a few branches hadn't been audited in almost 2 years. So, they ask if I would take care of one of them. Possibly another towards the end of the month.
I would have a guest blogger for tomorrow, but I'm sure ya'll can handle me being gone for one day. I know you'll miss me, but try to carry on without me.
My roommate was given two free hours of "Glow Bowling" for four people. So, we decided to head up to North Dallas last night around 9pm to give it a try. Hell, it was free. We sat amongst a very young, redneck crowd and watched the Dallas Mavericks play. We had no choice really. They wouldn't change the channel to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy for us. Figure skating championships were not on that night either.
We finally were called to bowl around 10pm. We were seated next to two couples. They were already having a pretty good time when we arrived. They promptly introduced themselves to us.
Here's the concept of Glow Bowling. The lights are turned down or off, and on comes the disco ball, strobe light, black lighting and dayglow colored bowling balls. There was suppose to be some jamming music, but we couldn't hear it. This scene would make any LSD user run screaming for his life. Hard enough to bowl with the lights on, let alone doing it in the dark with strobe lights.
The cute boys and their wives continued talking with us and downing many beers. One of the boys nickname up on the screen above was Skidmark. Someone in the group decided to ask him why he had a nickname like that. Why on EARTH would a total stranger decide to tell you the reason for the nick was due to the fact he shit his pants when he was eight years old? That wasn't the only reason for the nick either he told, but we decided not to push the issue. I'v done some pretty embarrassing things in my life, but I'm selective about what and to whom I tell a story. He was a cutie so I overlooked it.
Needless to say, Glow Bowling wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Luckily our new found friends next to us helped the evening be more pleasureable. Plus the fact that L. decided to do a little dance every single time he threw the ball added to our enjoyment. We were complaining by the end of the evening, that we felt like we threw our hips and shoulders out of socket.
REDACT commented as we walked out the door, "You know once we left, those girls probably said those gay guys were so cool!" As their husbands turn around and replied, "What gay guys?"
Seems that someone drank too much last night and stayed up too late. Ever wake up the next morning after 4 hours of sleep and you're still drunk? That was me. I was a bad boy and stayed home today. I hope you have more to say tomorrow. I'm going to take a nap.
Please tell me he's going commando.....
After checking my email last night, I took a moment and checked out one of my favorite glass artist, Dale Chihuly. As I was looking at his various new works and installations, it again stirred up many emotions about my days blowing glass in college and graduate school.
When I started Hastings College back in 1983, my majors were Art/Design and Accounting. Nice mix, huh? Hastings College was a small Presbyterian college in my hometown of Hastings Nebraska. Classes were no bigger then 30 people. Entire campus at that time was around 1000 students. A professor in your area was assigned to be your mentor/counselor. My mentor was John Elias. Head of Sculpture, pottery and glass. My areas of concentration were in Drawing and Printmaking. Never understood why I was paired up with John. Fate has a funny way of taking over.
After the first week into classes, John indicated to me that he had signed me up for Beginning Glassblowing. I told him I didn't think I would enjoy something like that and that I had already missed two classes since he didn't tell me. So he took me to the studio and said, just give it a shot and I'll get you caught up for next weeks class. If I didn't like it, then no harm done.
I remember grabbing the glass pipe and dipping it into the furnace of molten glass. Temperatures reaching 2400 degrees. I gathered up a small amount of glass on my pipe, took it back to the work bench and started shaping it. John told me later on that I had the biggest grin on my face he had ever seen. Drawing has always been my favorite medium to work in, but glass had just won my heart. I took to this medium like a fish to water. Not only did I go to class and my scheduled 4-6 hours of required studio time, I was there every single evening. Watching the advanced students and eventually started assisting them just to gain any additional experience I could get. My skill level jumped from a beginner to a 3rd year level within two semesters. I was spending 25 hours a week in the studio blowing glass. I couldn't get enough of it. My accounting major was dropped.
Our studio was in the middle of campus and of course we got a lot of traffic walking by. John and I had the early 6-10am studio time and I was on my own during the 2-6pm slot. Students would take time out between classes and come by to watch. I was making a name for myself around campus and didn't even know it.
My life surrounded glassblowing for the next four years. I was heavily into the Art/Crafts fair circuit. I was showing in various galleries. Applying for different competitions. I was giving weekly demonstrations and lectures to whomever would watch and listen. Graduation came and we were required to have a Thesis Exhibition. Normal opening would consist of 100+ people. My opening had over 700 people that day. I felt like I was on my way.
Graduate school was the next obvious step. After months of searching, I decided on Kansas University working under Vernon Brejcha. Glass took on another level during this time. I lived and breathed it. Unfortunately, our department was shut down due to politics with the heads of the Art and Design Department. My best friend and I decided to open our own. Her parents fronted the money for a small studio. Five days a week for 8 hours a day we were in the studio. Every weekend we were doing Art Fairs. Our nights were filled with shipping out orders, applying for shows, calling galleries and designing new work. Due to a controlling mother, problems increased over the next few years. We were no longer in control of the studio. The tension was getting to all of us. Eventually we were forced to go our separate ways. Her mother continues to run the studio until this day.
I walked out of that studio and never picked up a glass pipe again. I needed income and insurance. I found a corporate job in Kansas City and went to work. There's not a day that goes by that I don't day dream of being back in the glass studio. I go home for visits and I always make it a point to stop by the glass studio. I'll walk through and remember those sounds and smells. I get teary eyed every single time. That part of my life is gone for good.
Luckily, I still have a love of drawing. Eventhough I haven't drawn much lately, I have goals of steadily working again. Who knows, maybe I'll be in a gallery near you someday.
Someone did a search on msn for "pics of womens toes". They were led to my site. I have some toe sucking pervert reading about me. Go me!
No offense to all my toe sucking friends. I still love you .
I headed down to 24 Hour Fitness for my Tuesday Yoga session. I noticed upon walking through the front doors, that something has drastically changed. This gym has always been full of many beautiful, hunky, muscular boys. But, the gay to straight ratio has always been a little on the low side. Not tonight. Put up a disco ball, add a killer DJ and some twinks on tina and it would be a circuit party. I realized after a few moments pondering this situation, that the Centrum Gym near The Strip closed a month or so ago and everyone migrated to my gym. Fine with me. More eye candy, the better. Although a little bit distracting when you're contorting your body into positions not meant for mankind.
While walking to the back, I passed a group of men that were obviously family. One guy in particular looked up, half smiled then took a double take with a look of "I know this guy....but where from?" This guys face has been used in numerous ads in Dallas and in many gay mags throughout the U.S. I'll admit, he's quite a hunky fellow. Hell, he's hotter than shit. I'm sitting down, waiting for class and he walks by me and gives me that look again. It took all I had not to run up to him and say, "Let me put my face in your crotch so you can see the back of my head. Maybe then you would recognize me." Yes, without going into details, I've been there, done that. Proudly.
Just one word of caution. Prince Alberts can chip your front teeth.
I felt better walking out of the gym. I passed him one more time, he looks up and says, "Hey man, how you been?"
He remembered me! He really, really remembered me!
Life has new meaning.
Answer the question correctly an receive a free blow job? I heart this guy!!! I'm just lucky he lives here in Dallas. Pay up dude!
Have you heard about the new Amish movie thats coming out?
The Pennsylvania Handsaw Massacre!
I was chatting last night on the phone with Sherman for a while, then later online for a couple hours. This is a daily ritual of ours since the day we first met. We bullshit, talk about yoga, ask him how school was, boys, etc. We haven't really had many conversations that turned towards more serious subjects.
Last night during our chat, I remember getting to the point where I was complaining about how work is horrible, men are pigs, dating sucks, moving away.....the normal bitch session. At that point, Sherman had to reboot his laptop since it's a POS. After a long pause, he comes back with "Mark.....we are two very lucky people". Dammit I hate having someone so much younger then me lecture me on the quality of life. If I was in the same room with him, I'd beat his ass. For a fleeting moment I think, how can this youngin' tell me about how great life is? He's not experienced anything yet. Give him time. He'll go through all the heartache and troubles that we've all faced the past 20 years.
It's just me be being cynical, thinking that no one in their right mind could be happy about life all the time. I felt horrible thinking that way. After been given the "Life is Great" speech, in which he was using lots of exclamation marks and capital letters (Sherman likes to make sure his point is getting across), I realized that yes, I have a good job, make a decent living, have a great group of friends and my health is good. There's never a dull moment in my life. I'm experiencing new things all the time and meeting new people. Sherman has his down times just like everyone else. He just decides to look at life differently then most folks. Maybe some of him will rub off onto me.
So thanks to the Susan Powter of his generation. You remember the Stop the Insanity lady during the 80's? The woman who was just too damn perky and happy for her own good.
Just remember Sherman, even thought you gave me great advice, I'm older and wiser then you are and I'll still kick your ass.
For those of you that ever read the blog, "Hello my name is Sam..." you might have noticed that the site no longer exist. Sam emailed me and told me he had to shut his site down.
A couple friends of mine and I headed over to Arlington Texas to spend the day at Six Flags over Texas. The day started off cloudy and misting, but ended up a beautiful day after a few hours. Our company rents the park once a year for the employees and their friends. This means no lines. I mentioned before that my nipples get hard just thinking about it. My nipples could cut glass as we walked through the gates.
We were able to ride three rollercoasters within 30 minutes. Something happens to your brain when you hit your late thirties. We all walked in a giant "S" pattern to the next ride and so on throughout the afternoon. You would swear we were drunk. I remember as a kid riding for hours and hours at the county fair. Today, I'm looking for a bathroom to spew my lunch after one ride. But we recovered quickly and on to the next.
We went to the Superman Tower of Power. This is the ride that shoots you up a couple hundred feet or so then plummets you back to earth. Last thing I remember is cursing praying to our Lord and Savior up above. Do you realize that you are shot down so fast that your ass literally comes up off the seat? The ride was cruel and of the devil. No doubt about it. I couldn't wait to ride it again.
We finally were famished and decided to grab a bite to eat at the local food court. Damn, how good is a ten dollar burger and fries? Not very. You should ask my friend about his ten dollar hotdog.
By this point, we're starting to complain that our knees and hips were starting to hurt. I am becoming my mother. One of these days when I'm older, I know I'm going to suffer with the likes of my Mother and Elizabeth Taylor and have both hips replaced. We were walking around like 80 year old men and complaining like one too.
We kept putting off riding the wooden rollercoaster, The Texas Giant. It has a reputation of being pretty rough. Physically rough. I remember my hips being bruised after my last encounter. Hell, I usually get dinner and a movie before bruised hips. We decided to make it our last ride of the afternoon. I wish I could somehow have recorded the experience. Ow, ow, OW, OW, ow, owowowowowowow, OOOOOOWWWW! Thats all you heard from us. Now that I think about it, it does sound like a night of dinner, drinks and bruised hips. Kidding. One ride your asshole puckers so tight you couldn't insert a lubed up toothpick and the next ride shakes you so loose, well.....you need depends.
So beaten, bruised, sore and tired, we finally hobbled out to the car and heaved a huge sigh of relief. Thanks to Tylenol, I'll be able to go to work tomorrow. Funny thing is I would turn around once I heal up and do it all over again.
Could Friday have shown up just a tad bit slower? I don't know about you, but this has been one of the longest weeks the history. I think someone should be notified. You would think since I've actually been busy here at work, that time would have been flying by. Not the case. I'm sure now that I've brought this up, that today will be the longest DAY in history. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Its not like I have tons of plans for this weekend other then spending a day with friends at Six Flags on Sunday. Our company rents the park for its employees and their friends and family. No waiting in lines. My nipples get hard just thinking about it. I'm an amusement park nut. My dream would be to visit every theme park in the United States and ride every rollercoaster at least once. I would die a happy man.
Everyone please say a prayer to the weather gods. It seems that Texas was envious of Seattles weather and decided to copy them. No wonder those people drink so much coffee. All you want to do in weather like this is to stay home cuddled up on the couch watching TV or nap. Now if I had a man to do this with then I wouldn't be complaining.
Well I'm off to Starbucks for a Venti Chai Tea Latte. Have a great weekend ya'll!
Last night I had to pick up some cash and drop of Six Flags tickets to my Ex. Our company rents the park each year just for its employees and their friends. Anywho, I decided to go to The Tin Room for a couple drinks with him listen to really horrible Karaoke. The Tin Room is this little out of the way place. Ok, its a dive, but a really fun dive. The kind of place where things happen that you don't even want your closest friends to know about. After downing two pitchers, I decided it was my turn to sing. Hell, if some guy can sing Rainbow Connection and sing it in the voice of Kermit, I can handle a Judy, Bette or Barbara number.
When I'm in the car, I can remember every word of the song and hit every single note perfectly. Well, in my mind I sound perfect. I'm sure the guy at the stop light doesn't agree. But damn, get me in front of that mike and my mind draws a blank. I even took voice lessons for a few years and was a member of my college choir. Sure as hell wouldn't be able to tell last night.
When you get to the point where you're singing The Lion Sleeps Tonight in falsetto, its time to put the beer down, slowly walk away and go home.
Courtesy of this guy.
The End of the World
I laughed so hard I wet myself.
I think this is something that all of us at one point in our lives wonder about. Am I becoming my parents? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
My Father and I were very different. He was a man who was quiet, reserved, never worried and always calm. He hardly ever raised his voice. He was the guy in the room who sat there with his arms folded just listening to what everyone had to say. He wasn't a Father that played catch with his kids in the backyard, took his kids fishing or showed much affection or emotion. He was a dad who provided us with a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. He loved us tremendously and would show it many times, but in his own unique way. You would often hear from other people the wonderful things our Father would say about us. It wasn't until he was diagnosed with cancer and severe heart problems did the relationship with my Father change. I was never called Mark from that point on. My name had become Pumpkin or Baby. He became extremely affectionate. I was the son he confided in about seeing Angels before he died. Many wonderful things happened during those last couple years.
My mother is very different in her own unique way too. She was Leave it to Beavers Mother. Always cleaning house, cooking and washing clothes in a nice skirt and blouse with a string of pearls. She babied us, smothered us and was many times over protective. She constantly worried about her kids. Wondering where they were and if they were OK. She would stay up all night with you when you were sick. Buy you toys or make your favorite foods for no reason other then she felt like it. She constantly was giving you a hug and kissing you on your forehead. Then grabbing a hanky, spitting in it and getting that dirt off your face. She would hide in the closet when I came home from seeing a scary movie just so she could scare the living crap out of me. We would sit up after a date, have a cup of coffee and talk about how my date went. She's the kind of Mother that becomes more like your best friend as years go by, yet still remains my Mom.
Funny how this entry took a turn and ended up me telling you about my parents. Wasn't my intention. It just made me realize that no matter whom I become as I grow older, a little bit of both my parents would be just fine with me.
I went down to Moby's last night to spend an evening hanging with my friends. I arrived early and spent an hour talking to Doctor T. I still have a huge highschool crush on him. When will he realize that he's my future ex-husband? It wasn't long before the rest of the gang showed up. After a few drinks and a couple shots of tequila, I was feeling no pain. We got into the discussion about the numerous things we've experienced or seen happen in our little bar.
On the serious side:
1. Undercover police officers body slamming a customer to the ground with their guns pointed in everybodys face telling us "not to move". No problem buddy, I'm not going anywyere.
2. Watching a police chase from Moby's back patio involving approximately 15 police cars chasing some idiot through the Oaklawn area for an hour. We were the guys cheerleading section.
3. Trying to leave the parking lot next door, only to be blocked in from behind with 5 police cars and blocked in the front by the person they were chasing. Rifles were out and we were being yelled at to get the hell out of the way. Well officer, please move your cars, put your rifles away and I'll be happy to oblige.
4. Arriving less then an hour after some enraged person came in and shot someone standing in the well area ordering a drink. Was that blood they were moping up when we arrived?
5. Sitting on the back patio watching Ft. Worth getting hit by a killer Tornado. Why we were in no hurry to run for cover, I have no clue.
On the lighter side:
1. Hosting a baby shower for our resident straight bartender and his girlfriend. This included parents on both sides and all their friends. Needless to say, we know how to throw a kick-ass baby shower.
2. Catching a friend in the womens bathroom buck naked sitting in the sink having his toes sucked by some young twinkie.
3. A friend of ours was so drunk she went to sit back down on the bar stool, but didn't realize that it was the trash can.
4. Front patio on Easter Sunday having cocktails. We were commenting on people walking by and we decided to make large cue cards to hold up and let the cards do the talking for us. I know it sounds mean, but we were nice....for the most part. It was all done in fun and no Mo's were hurt in the process.
5. Rumor has it that I was dared to whip out my dick on the back patio and I supposedly pulled it out and spun it around like a helicopter. Jury is still out on this one folks.
I'm sure that there are numerous times that I'm forgetting or trying to forget. There's never a dull moment with our group and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Friday night we decided to head down to The Strip for some Halloween fun. Didn't know it would be almost a repeat of last Friday. Well, to some extent. We were enjoying the evening, throwing back drinks and shots, when my Ex and his friend show up.
Wasn't long and the straight boy (one who was quick to show his penis to me last week) and his wife girlfriend showed up to enjoy the festivities. He asked me for a shot of tequilla, downs it and proceeds to tell me he's messed around with guys. Last thing I want an adorable straight cowboy, complete with wranglers, boots, straw hat and a hot goatee, tell me is that he has done this before while rubbing my shaved head. I want to loose all control. But I kept my composure. Damn, it wasn't easy.
Needless to say, nothing is going to ever happen. Nothing ever could happen. First off, me being positive puts a damper on the situation. He has a girlfriend, AND he's married with four children....at the age of 24. YIKES! I thought I was confused. Sometimes our dicks hormones are telling us to do one thing, and our minds and hearts another.
With age, comes wisdom. You just know in certain situations when to turn around and run the other direction. If this situation would have occurred 10 years ago, I'm not sure how I would react. Ok, I know how I would react. I would have jumped all over the boy. I openly admit that. I'll sleep better knowing that he will never be in a situation that would put himself, his family or his girlfriend at risk. Whether feeling like this is right or wrong in everyones eyes, doesn't matter to me. It's how I feel. It's situations like this that show me how being positive can jump start your brain into thinking properly. Hell, at this point in my life, even if I wasn't positive I would back away.
Missing out on a little fun is nothing compared to not being able to sleep well at night.
One of these days, I will tell you about becoming positive and how its affected my life. Thats for another day for when the mood strikes me. It's not a long depressing story. It's a story filled with wonderful experiences, friends and lovers with the occasional bumps along the way. I'm an extremely lucky man.
So instead, I threw myself into the arms of my Ex that night.
I needed someone familiar.
